The Lovelight Project

Tying up my hiking boots is one of my favorite feelings of anticipation, knowing that soon I’ll be in the midst of nature. I know I’ll be dwarfed by forests and silenced by the orchestra of bugs and leaves. If I’m lucky, I’ll come face-to-face with wild animals. 

I’ve spent hours watching cardinals dancing above me and deer equally frozen as we size up each other. I’ve marveled at wild emu, kangaroo, herds of bison, and so many amazing creatures just within a stone’s throw.

My boots are important enough to carry around the world as I search for the best hikes. Sometimes I camp in the woods, but mostly I enjoy day hikes. I like returning home after many hours on the trail, exhausted and salty from my own sweat, to savor the memories. 

Recently, I spent the day walking the trails of Cinque Terre along the Italian coast. It was so breathtaking that it brought me to tears many times. It gave me gratitude for all the wonderful walks I’ve enjoyed in my life. It wasn’t the best of my life, but it was up there. It made me think of all the unforgettable day hikes of my life.

To rank as an epic hike, first and foremost the experience needs to lead me deep into nature and far away from humans. I’m not a big fan of trails that are filled with people, in general, although sometimes the path is so enchanting that I don’t mind. 

It also needs to be somewhat challenging, even though that means different things to different people. When I was visiting all the national parks in the United States, I’d often stop in at the ranger’s station to investigate the most challenging hike in the park. Those trails were the least traveled and usually the most wonderful.

Usually, I love a hike for 90% of the time. For the remaining 10%, I wonder exactly why I thought it was such a good idea. I’m not the most fit person in the world. The best hiking trails make me breathe deeply and feel like I’ve really overcome a challenge. 

Summits are glorious, always.

Hikes are almost always worth it, unless you get lost — which I did, for example, hiking the Slot Canyon Trail in the Anza Borrego State Park in California. That day, as I scrambled with an empty water jug over loose rocks, well off trail and in the direction of a road I could see in the distance, scared me. I’d been lost before, like wandering to the blowholes along the Exumas coast from Boo Boo Hill in the Bahamas, but nothing like that. I’m glad I had enough power for my phone for GPS to lead me back to my vehicle.

Even still, I tend to hike by myself. To be honest, I prefer it. I can walk as fast or as slow as I like. I can take breaks to admire pretty plants or have a drink of water. It’s quiet enough that I’m more likely to see animals. But it requires me to be prepared. Then it’s so fun.

I want to share these hikes with you — and maybe inspire you to tie up your boots, too.

My Top 10 Day Hikes in the World

First, I’ll start with some honorable mentions that almost made the cut. 

Honorable Mentions: Playa de Güigüí on Gran Canaria in Spain, the Pinnacles in Nambung National Park in Western Australia, and the Hidden Valley Trail in Joshua Tree National Park, California, USA

The hike to Playa de Güigüí on Gran Canaria in Spain starts with a very strenuous climb to the summit that leads down a long and leisurely trail to a deserted beach. It’s not accessible by bus, and its remoteness lends to the hike’s charms. I heard of plans to build a factory next to it, effectively ruining the experience. Let’s hope that gets caught up in Spanish bureaucracy.

Another honorable mention goes to The Pinnacles in Nambung National Park in Western Australia. There’s not much of a walk to get there, but when you do, it’s really something else. The site’s namesake refers to natural limestone structures formed around 30,000 years ago that receded and eroded into tall pillars that jut strangely from the ground. You feel like you’re on the moon. It’s likely to see kangaroos or perhaps wild emu during your wanderings, as well.

Finally, I have to give a shout-out to the short-but-fantastic Hidden Valley Trail in Joshua Tree National Park in California, USA. It’s just one mile long, but it’s very memorable with Joshua trees, wildflowers, special rock formations, and many sweet nooks of natural beauty. You can’t miss it.

10. Synchronous Firefly Mating Display, Great Smoky Mountains National Park, North Carolina, USA

My friend Jeffrey knew what he was doing when he called me one day to invite me on a camping adventure in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park in North Carolina, USA. He had read about this certain type of firefly that, during just a couple weeks a year and only in a very specific location, all flash at the same time as part of a mating ritual. I was in!

When I arrived at our meeting spot, I discovered he had brought along a prissy girlfriend and her pale, lanky, and already-bored teens. They all refused to go, which meant he wasn’t going either. Instead gave me a bear box, a map, and a lift up to the start of a trail to a campsite he had reserved as part of the park’s lottery system. I was excited!

Jeffrey was running late when he dropped me off, so I had to hurry up the mountain toward the group campsite. I was grateful for the hiking poles as I walked the four miles with my pack filled for a few days in the woods. It was worth it! After passing a bear on the trail, I arrived at dusk in time for the show. The fireflies, as promised, shone bright and shut off all together, like magic.

9. Sierra Negra Volcano, Galapagos, Ecuador

The walk to the volcano crater on the island of Isabela doesn’t take long, but getting to the trailhead is itself an adventure. Most of the Galapagos island chain is accessible by cruise ship, which you can only hop on once you get there. I was lucky to be living just an hour’s flight from the entry to the national park, so I spent two weeks there.

The Sierra Negra Volcano is a special place in part because you have to traverse cooled lava fields, lounging marine iguanas, and barking seals to get there. The volcano is now a caldera, which is a large volcanic depression that forms when the magma chamber collapses on itself. It’s an interesting natural phenomenon, the largest and most shallow caldera in the Galapagos.

When you stand on its edge, you can’t help but think of the evolution of both land and animal. All the changes come with adaptability!

8. Angel’s Landing, Zion National Park, Utah, USA

Having grown up on the other side of the country, I had no idea of the breathtaking beauty of Utah in the United States. It makes this list twice! A visit to Zion National Park involves some planning, as it can easily get overwhelmed with visitors. You’ll need to buy seats in the shuttle to get to the trailhead, and you’ll need a permit to hike. It’s worth the extra effort.

Angel’s Landing isn’t for those who are scared of heights. The trail itself leads over a thin, high path cut into the rock a century ago. I witnessed many people who couldn’t handle it — they were clinging to the rock’s edge as if the spinning world would push them off. 

But for those who make it? The view is gorgeous. You look through hoodoos, which are natural holes in the rock. With clear weather, you can see for miles over the mountains. It’s one of these breathtaking vistas that put all your troubles into perspective. We’re just specks of stardust, after all.

7. Pirin National Park, Bulgaria

Protected as a UNESCO World Heritage site, Pirin National Park in Bulgaria is a wonderful surprise of glacial lakes, wild herbs, and pretty paths. There are a few ways to access its well-marked trails, including one that requires a ride on a rickety chairlift to a backcountry hut near Popovo Lake.

The easiest way to get to the park is with an affordable shuttle from the quaint ski town of Bansko 30 minutes up the mountain to the Vihren Hut. I took this shuttle many times to enjoy the fresh air and wildflowers that lead toward five lovely lakes. Packing a particularly juicy local pear purchased for pennies from the weekly farmer’s market, I sat on the lake’s edge in bliss.

There’s nothing mind-blowing about this hike, but its simplicity echoes the gentle, peaceful energy of Bulgaria in general. I like that, which is why this hike makes my list of favorites.

6. “The Precipice” Acadia National Park, Maine, USA

As I traveled around the United States in a caravan while everyone else was stuck in a coronavirus lockdown, I was especially looking forward to getting up to Maine. It is remote and rare — with the spectacular Acadia National Park. 

I was lucky to score the one available camping spot at the official campground within the park, which allowed me to enjoy a variety of hikes. One of the most popular is known as The Beehive due to the shape of the rock. To reach the summit there, you’ll need to climb up metal handles somehow welded into the rock.

The problem is, The Beehive is famous. It was a busy trail, and that’s a problem as it’s likely you’re not at the same speed as the people before and after you. The solution is The Precipice, on which I could count fellow hikers on one hand. It was slightly more challenging than The Beehive but had the same metal handrails and epic vistas. I felt like I found a secret, and now I share that secret with you!

5. Abel Tasman Coast Track, South Island, New Zealand

The exceedingly magical New Zealand boasts 11 so-called “Great Walks,” and they are all great. Spectacular, really. I hiked five of them, and two made this list. What’s nice about New Zealand is that nearly every town has an i-Site, a public information center filled with maps and tips about local treks. It’s not hard to learn where to go to get yourself deep into the natural beauty that abounds here.

The Abel Tasman Coast Track, located near Motueka on the northern coast of the South Island, is a memorable way to spend a day or three. Like almost all of the Great Walks, you can get a permit to camp along the trail. Instead, I booked a water taxi to deliver me to the center of the trail so I could backtrack by foot. 

The track takes you along a blissful coastline, allowing swims in blue waters and jumps over rivers and streams. It meanders back and forth easily with little elevation change. A highlight is the famous “Apple Rock,” which really does look like a giant apple split down the middle.  

4. The Narrows, Zion National Park, Utah, USA

You’ll want to spend at least two days in Zion National Park, as The Narrows cannot be missed. It’s even better than Angel’s Landing, which is #8 on this list. You’ll want to wear sturdy waterproof shoes (like Tevas) and bring hiking poles, although you can rent walking sticks and boots at the park.  

Surprise! This trail demands hikers first trudge through a mile or so of waist-deep, chilly river water to continue on through ankle-deep waters toward a slot canyon. Plenty of my fellow hikers were unprepared, and they only made it a couple of miles in. But you’ll want to walk an additional five miles before things start getting special.

The Narrows is a slot canyon, and you’ll be glad you persevered when you see what so few people do. Slot canyons are natural formations made from ancient rivers cutting small passages in between tall walls of rock. It’s cooler there, no matter the temperature, and you’re likely to find a nice seat to enjoy a well-earned sandwich before heading back.

3. Acatenango Volcano, Guatemala

Technically a two-day hike, the summit to Acatenango Volcano had to make this list. It’s beyond epic — and one of the most challenging treks of my life. I wrote all the funny details of this adventure in “One-Way Ticket,” and it starts with booking a spot with one of the many tour outlets in Antigua, Guatemala.

They’ll pick you up in a bus, give you a packed lunch (mine included an entire baked potato), and a walking stick. And off you go, up one of the steepest and longest ascents I’ve experienced. It takes what feels like forever to make it to the base camp, but that’s when the show begins. As you enjoy food and hot chocolate around the fire, you can take in another fire: Fuego, the active volcano next door. It sputtered wildly, as we watched the lava flowing dangerously down the sides. 

You sleep for a few hours to hike the remainder in time to summit for sunrise. Acatenango is not active like Fuego, so it’s not dangerous. The summit is even more steep than the first climb, and I nearly didn’t make it. But I did, and I loved it.

2. Cinque Terre, Italy

As I mentioned, Cinque Terre was one of the best hikes of my life. To arrive, I took a train to Manarola, a cute town along the country’s western coast not so far from Monaco and Switzerland. From there, you can take a shuttle up to Volastra to begin the all-day trek. 

You’ll need to purchase a permit for most of the trail, which winds through vineyards, olive farms, and lemon orchards planted on the hillsides overlooking the Ligurian Sea. When you read about the trail, they describe the “heroic winemakers,” which makes me smile. Then I saw a man walk past me carrying a basket of freshly picked persimmons, and I smiled even more.

I walked from Volastra to Corniglia, then from Corniglia to Vernazza, and then from Vernazza to Monterosso. The trail at times required some deep breathing. But other times, it was easy and relaxed. It was filled with older people who seemed to really struggle; I was grateful to be young and fit enough to enjoy the day fully. I stopped for a lovely lunch, had a lemon granita at a bar along the way, and wandered the narrow streets. These picturesque towns are worth more than a day, but that’s all I had to give them. Let’s just say it left me wanting more!

1. Tongariro Alpine Crossing, North Island, New Zealand

If you can’t imagine it getting any better than Cinque Terre, well, welcome back to New Zealand. The Tongariro Alpine Crossing is the stuff hikers’ dreams are made of. Logging in at around 26 kilometers, it’s basically as long as Cinque Terre. But instead of depositing you in cute Italian villages, you’ll see fantastic natural wonders that you can’t find anywhere else.

Imagine emerald green lakes, sapphire blue lakes, lava flows frozen mid-fall over mountains, and geothermal smoke escaping from the ground. Every turn was breathtaking, and it wasn’t just because of the climb. Like so many times in that country, I simply couldn’t believe my eyes. 

This is why I love hiking so much: You never know what you’ll discover in nature. When I’m walking a trail — even one as well-worn as the Tongariro Alpine Crossing — I feel like an explorer. Sometimes what is discovered is the smallest thing, and it may be just as magnificent as the grandest sights. 

All it takes is a look around the restaurant to see that I’m not the only one with a phone addiction. At every table — yes, every table — I see a phone. If someone isn’t actively scrolling (and ignoring their loved one), it’s on the table, quivering in anticipation. 

The phone can never be too far from reach. Have you ever accidently left yours at home? You know that uneasy feeling. It’s the same feeling an alcoholic has when there’s no booze around. It’s addiction.

The World Economic Forum reported last year that there were more mobile phones in the world than human beings. In 2022, the average time spent staring at a smartphone — not including talking, mind you, which is what a phone was originally designed to do — was 4.5 hours every day, according to Statista.

I won’t lie: I used to spend many more hours on my device. I’d scroll various social media accounts, read the news, check the weather, listen to a podcast, watch a video, consult a map, check my email, listen to an audiobook I got from the library, listen to streaming music, take pictures, and even study online courses. 

Yeah, smartphones are great … until they’re not. The other day I realized I was trying to cook but my left hand was strangely occupied. I had no reason to be holding my phone, but I was, mindlessly. Something had to be done.

If you’re reading this, you also know that you’ve got to do something. But knowing what to do isn’t so easy when so much of our modern daily existence is wrapped up in apps, sites, and scrolls. 

The first thing to be done is to accept that we’ve got a problem, and it’s a dopamine problem. The colorful screens and endless buzzy notifications have short-circuited our brains. We can’t help but want more more more. Just like an addict, we need more than willpower.

It’s a work in progress, but here are my 10 tips to help you break the spell your smartphone has on you. Monitor your daily screen time once a week to see if you can create a downward trajectory. Good luck!

1. Make it boring.

All those fun, saturated colors on the screen sure are fun to look at! But what if real life was more colorful and vibrant? You can immediately make your phone less enjoyable by changing your color filters to grayscale. 

Android users just have to search “grayscale” for instructions. For iPhone users: Go to Settings —> General —> Accessibility —> Display Accommodations —> Color Filters —> Toggle ON and select grayscale.

2. Set limits for your time sucks.

Ever wish you had a benevolent caretaker to look over your shoulder and proclaim, “OK, that’s enough!” More than once, I’ve realized that I scrolled way too much time away. That’s time I’ll never get back, and I wasn’t any better off. 

Well, you can be your own caretaker. In the iPhone, go to Settings —> Screen Time —> App Limits and then add limits for all your triggering apps, like social media. 

I find 15 minutes is a nice amount of time if I want to scroll. There is an override option, but in grayscale you will probably be bored by then.

3. Plan offline activities in your day.

People who have nothing else to do will stare at their phones because, well, what else are they going to do? But you can actively intend to live a life filled with meaning. Spend time doing things that will make you into a better version of yourself in the future.

Create a list of healthy offline habits you’d like to fill your day with instead. Mine include studying a new language, meditating, and eating whole + healthy foods (I just roasted nuts that soaked overnight!). 

Check out my slowly-but-surely growing YouTube channel (https://youtube.com/@thelovelightproject8185) to learn more.

4. Get it away from you!

A woman in one of my accountability groups had trouble falling asleep. Why? Because she couldn’t resist the temptation to check out all the latest on her smart device before bed. And we all know how scrolling works — it sucks you in, and suddenly it’s an hour later than you thought. 

There’s a simple solution: Charge your phone away from your bed. Put it on airplane mode 30 minutes before you sleep. Extra credit if you can get up and caffeinate before turning it back on.

5. Block the blue light.

Screens emit blue light frequency, which explains why our eyes get so tired when staring at screens for so long. This frequency also messes with our circadian rhythm, in that our body will think that it’s seeing rays from the sun when it’s just that darn smartphone screen.

To combat this, get some blue light-blocking glasses if your work forces some screentime. Yellow or light orange lenses work to reduce eye strain and exhaustion. When you start to feel better, you’ll learn what it feels like to feel bad.

6. Connect with people in real life. 

Another reason why you might feel exhausted when you finally pull yourself away from your smartphone is because you didn’t really connect with anyone. Yes, you see that your friends are upset over the latest political crisis or someone had a baby or got married or went on a trip or ate something delicious. All of that is so wonderful. 

Why not pick up the phone and call them about it to learn more? Talking in real time (even better, video calling) is true connection. When you make time for a real friend or family member you love, it makes you feel great.

I talk on the phone almost daily. Texting doesn’t really give me the sense of connection that charges me, but damn I love listening and sharing in real time to friends. It’s why I have a phone in the first place.

7. Keep your phone away during the day. 

I notice a big difference when I keep my phone across the room than when it’s next to me at my desk. I’m simply less distracted — and I’m not the only one. This is known as the phone proximity effect. There’s a little part of your brain power that goes toward staying alert to this device that bings and buzzes by surprise.

At first, you may experience that sneaky FOMO, of the fear of missing out. If you’re really awaiting a call from a specific person, just turn on the sound. You’ll hear it in the other room.

8. Turn off all notifications.

This summer, I lived in a town filled with digital nomads excited to share all kinds of ideas and events. I signed up for the WhatsApp group only to get scores of notifications throughout the day. When I complained to a friend, she laughed. She had turned off all her notifications a long time ago, and she encouraged me to do the same.

Now, I take it a step further. I turn off all sound and all notifications. This way, I can mindfully take a break from whatever I’m focused on and check in — rather than allowing the phone to interrupt me. 

You do not have to be “on call” at all times, and there’s really no need to expect that of others, too.

9. Be intentional with your phone behavior.

Make a habit of announcing the action you are doing when picking up the phone. “I want to see the water-to-lentils cooking ratio” or “I want to know the metaphysical qualities of the upcoming astrological events.” This will stop you from mindlessly opening social media apps and other temptations that steal your time.

Then, when you have completed your task, put the phone down. Take control.

10. Get support by enlisting friends to break the spell, too.

Demand that all your loved ones put their phones away when you get together. Let them know that you only check your phone a few times during your day, so they don’t worry if you don’t reply immediately. Use this as a way to stay connected in a deeper, more meaningful way.

Then, share this — along with other methods you use to be a productive, relaxed, connected human in this dopamine-disrupted modern world. 

There’s something magical about studying herbs, healing habits, and other natural remedies while spending the summer in a place where I can wander through wildflowers, soak in rivers, and quietly focus on my own well-being.

I notice what works for me, and I see what works for others, as I create a compendium of treatments to help clients with the endless versions of health concerns that present as suffering and blocks in the path. Overall, I’ve discovered that the most effective remedies are not the most expensive. In fact, they are often completely free. 

This reality goes against everything we’ve been taught by modern medicine. For decades now, modern society has come to believe, thanks to very expensive advertising campaigns, that we’ll need to take expensive pills for the rest of our days. If those pills cause additional problems in our lives, that’s just the way it is. We’re given a label, and that’s that.

If you buy in fully to your diagnosis label as a medical fact that can never be changed, then you’ll be correct. You’ll never have reason to deal with the root cause. It’s like trimming the leaves of a weed but never fully pulling it up, then wondering why it keeps emerging. 

Naturopathic remedies are holistic and, through optimistic curiosity and educated experimentation, try to find the root of the matter. We use whatever methods make the most sense: Diet and nutrition are usually the first experiments, but herbal teas, flower essences, yoga and movement therapies, and so many other healing traditions may follow. 

Naturopaths have a big toolbox, well beyond whatever mixture of lab-produced chemicals a pharmaceutical company is pushing to doctors at the time. The way to know which tool will help truly untie the inner knot is to first recognize that the actual root of most pain and suffering is a quite common one. 

No one’s pain is particularly special, yet all of us are very special indeed.

Pain has endless causes, but suffering does not. Suffering always is caused in the mind. You’ve likely heard those stories of old people who are dying but smile. You’ve heard of people whose shock from some event causes them to, at least temporarily, forget how much pain they’re in. 

We can sometimes put the cart before the horse, too. Much of the pain people have actually originates from the suffering they build around the initial cause. 

This secondary pain, of course, must be treated quite differently from the original cause of pain. Adults (and often children, alas) have traumas in all kinds of shapes and sizes. It may be some kind of loss you experienced or perhaps abusive behavior that you never processed. It could be the sad realization that you’ve spent a lifetime climbing the mountain, only to realize that you were climbing the wrong mountain.

Emotional suffering and physical pain do go hand-in-hand, and frequently it is the emotional pain that brings about the physical pain. It’s easier to talk about physical pain in today’s society, so sometimes we just make it that way. How? This is the power of the mind-body connection. 

We explore this in yoga sessions. If you’ve ever been in a pigeon pose and truly think you’re going to break, that your knee will rip out of the socket, that the hip will tear from all the searing pain, and that maybe if you tense up your shoulders and grit your teeth that you’ll survive … you know what I mean. We so often create our own misery.

But I’m more than a yoga teacher and naturopath. I’m also a journalist who’s interviewed scores of scientists and researchers. So, I don’t deny that some medical cures and interventions are very, very necessary. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a biohacker, too.

I know that if you’ve eaten a diet full of processed meats, preservative-rich chips, and sugar-filled cookies, it would help your health if you dramatically changed your diet to one filled with plant-based, whole foods. Unfortunately, that’s likely not enough to cure your cancer.

I love working with people who are past the dramas of how their pain is so much worse than everyone else’s pain, that I “just would never understand” how bad and special their pain is. The truth is, it’s not a contest. 

Some people suffer very small misgivings and create monuments to their pain that take years to break down, if they even prefer the crumbling to the honoring. 

Other people have constitutions and situations that allow them to process horrific traumas in a way that lightens their spirits and makes them more compassionate and caring for others. This is what Thich Nhat Hahn calls “suffering well.” 

A motivation for going through that “dark night of the soul” is so you can get to the end, see the light, and encourage others to keep going. This is what Eckhardt Tolle calls being part of the “new Earth.”

The first step on this sometimes very long path, then, is to recognize that you are your own healer. Only you know what happened, and only you know really what your sensory organs are telling you. When you listen deeply to yourself, magic happens. That’s exactly what it feels like when I wander through the mountains of Bulgaria, picking wildflower bouquets and researching different treatments for those who connect with me. 

Here are five of my favorite natural remedies that may benefit you in your life, too.

1. German chamomile

In almost every little grocery store everywhere, you can find chamomile tea — and it’s not just because it’s a nice alternative to coffee. Chamomile, a pretty and delicate flower sprouting from soft, green ferns, has been widely studied by herbalists over the centuries. 

A mild sedative, it’s great for soothing the nervous system and encouraging sleep. In compresses, German chamomile also helps to speed wound healing and reduce inflammation. 

Basically, this herb just instructs the body to calm down and let healing happen. There are many other herbs that act as nervine agents, but this one is perhaps the most well-known.

Problems sleeping are increasingly common in this stressed-out modern life, but I wonder how many insomniacs brew cups of high-quality chamomile tea and sip quietly in the hour before they wish to sleep. A cup of tea isn’t a panacea, I know. But it’s the start of a bedtime ritual that can help you make a habit of relaxation every day.

2. Warm lemon water

For the last year, I’ve run accountability groups as part of my coaching work. To take advantage of the opportunity for growth and change, I usually choose a few daily healthy habits to push me toward achieving personal goals. This last round has included a new morning ritual I’ve called the 11:11:11 routine. It’s at least 11 ounces of water, at least 11 pushups, and at least 11 minutes of meditation. 

It didn’t take long for me to add on. I’m now up to 20 pushups every morning and 15 minutes of meditation. I also drink two full glasses of water, and recently I’ve been making it warm lemon water.

This joyful habit hydrates me after sleep. It stimulates my digestive system gently and provides a barrier for the gut before coffee. It also gives me a small boost of vitamin C.

Vitamin C is known as “nature’s antibiotic” for good reason. Taking large amounts throughout the day (500 milligrams is the most the body can process at a time, with the rest simply passing straight to your urine) fights bacteria by changing the body’s internal pH balance enough to make it inhospitable for growth. 

A urologist many years ago explained this to me … right after I balked at her prescription to take an antibiotic pill every day for the rest of my life to avoid further UTIs. Instead, I started doubling down on vitamin C when I felt that familiar ping of pain. I’ve never had a UTI since, and I take extra vitamin C whenever I’m feeling a little rundown.

The warm lemon water doesn’t provide enough vitamin C to combat a UTI or a cold, but it can provide a small boost to the immune system. Doing it daily can add up, preventing more serious problems.

3. Bach’s Flower Essence Rescue Remedy

Flower essences fall under those naturopathic remedies that make more cynical people look sideways: So, you’re telling me that flowers are going to make everything better? Well, take it from me after I’ve picked a pretty bouquet and arranged it in my living room. Sometimes, they do.

Flower essences differ from essential oils in that essences don’t contain active biological ingredients like terpenes, flavonoids, or other vital chemical compounds. These products are created more energetically in a way that one might say is, like a walk in the woods, magic. 

And yet, talk to the millions of people around the globe who have used Bach’s Rescue Remedy. You can’t argue with results! This proprietary blend of five flowers (cherry plum, clematis, impatiens, Star of Bethlehem, and rock rose) helps you feel relaxed and calmer, especially when you’re on the verge of freaking out. 

Rescue Remedy also works on pets. Just put a few drops on the soft bottom part of the paw. I used to have a cat with extreme abandonment issues, and he would make messes in a tragic attempt to get attention, negative or otherwise. This product was an important part of his healing journey. 

4. Saying “no” to refined sugar and its addictive substitutes

Part of the reason I sometimes crave an ice cream cone, I suspect, is because I need to let the cute little kid inside me pop up and get reminded that she’s loved. I’m not sure why else I would ever want to eat it otherwise, since in reality I get gassy and feel achy the next day. I’ve finally cut sugar from my daily diet long enough to directly connect the odd “I’m old” feeling with consuming sugar.

You may feel like your creaky, inflamed body is a result of one of the diagnoses a doctor gives you, or you may feel that’s the reality of getting old. However, these symptoms often relate to chronic nutritional problems. On average, Americans eat 17 teaspoons of added sugar every day. That’s 60 pounds of sugar every year.

Sugar, of course, sneaks in almost everywhere there is processing. It takes me a few hours of multitasking to make my own tomato sauce, which I prefer since almost every pre-jarred brand includes sugar. Most condiments and salad dressings have sugar. Most crackers and snack foods have sugar. If there is no sugar on the label, there’s likely one of its chemically produced replacements like corn syrup, aspartame, sucralose, and glucose. 

As I weaned myself off sugar, I had a few months of allowing myself honey and dark chocolate. Psychologically, it didn’t take long to notice that I’d turn to one or the other as a “well-deserved treat after all my productivity.” I think that inner child was getting a little spoiled.

But you know, honey made my hips inflamed too. Turns out extra sweetness is just, well, completely unnecessary. Beyond inflammation, too much of this “good thing” can cause obesity, type 2 diabetes, metabolic syndrome, dental issues, and many other health problems. It’s best to cut it (and all toxins, really) out of your life — completely if you can.

5. Gratitude journaling

With holistic health, as with everything, you must decide that you can heal yourself. This could be obvious for some and a mental “turning of the Titanic” for others. Simply believing in your own abilities may feel like a big fat lie if you’ve grown up with limiting beliefs and a lack of evidence from naturopathic work.

Yet, both scientific research and spiritual texts confirm that the placebo effect — that what we believe does indeed manifest in our bodies — is real. That’s why all my clients use journaling prompts as part of their transformational journeys. 

A journaling exercise I particularly enjoy is listing the things you are grateful for every day. I don’t just stop at one or two, like many pre-formatted journals. We’re forging new neuropathways in the brain to create thought processes that recognize gifts in our lives more easily. In turn, we actually have more gifts. Then we live a richer, fuller life. 

As we move through that change, it can feel like “faking it ‘til you make it.” That’s why I make it tough. I ask my clients to write down 10 things every day. Some days, there will be some overlap of specific things on the list, but I encourage them to try to think up awesome new items each day. I’ve done the same thing for years. It works.

If you’re of a cynical nature, you may think that gratitude sounds like pretty fluffy therapy — but there’s plenty of scientific research to support this, too. There’s a lesson in the Yoga Sutras called pratipaksha bhavana in Sanskrit. In essence, this is the practice of replacing a negative thought immediately with a positive one. 

Again, at first, it feels like spiritual bypassing. Yes, we need to feel those feelings. But as we discussed earlier, our mental suffering often causes more pain. When we make a habit of focusing on the things that make our lives joyful, we will find more. We will notice less pain and feel better. I think everyone would appreciate that.

Bonus Treatment: Stretching

We all know we need to move our bodies, and even the simple 10,000-steps rule is a good place for many people to start. But when was the last time you stretched? Most of my clients try to integrate exercise, but they miss the benefits of static and kinetic stretching for the body.

No, stretching doesn’t burn calories. It’s not going to give you great abs. But it will make your body feel better. Guaranteed. 

If you add five to 10 minutes a day to stretch your body, I am here to tell you that those deep breaths will make a difference. Your fascia, or the connective netting that holds the muscles to the bones, needs to stretch (and be hydrated! Drink water!). Your tendons, ligaments, and joints need to stretch. 

Otherwise, things get really tight. Soon, you’ll be shuffling around like those old folks who can barely look up. You don’t want to age like that, do you?

My simple daily routine always includes the six movements of the spine. That consists of side bends — first to the right, and second to the left. Then make a cat/cow shape with the body, bringing the shoulders back as you look up and jut your tailbone out, then curve in and look at your belly button. Then inhale as you twist and hold to the right, then twist and hold to the left. 

That’s the bare minimum that everyone should do. Add in more yoga or stretching to feel even better … which is why we seek out all this magic, right? Let’s feel better together!

Dog barking, baby crying, truck belching smoke nearby. 

Cell phone tower pinging, deadlines looming, and this afternoon’s takeout lunch isn’t digesting so well.

Your spouse is angry, your child’s tired, and the boss has reached a new low. Dinner arrives in plastic, bills keep coming, and there’s a strange mystery beeping somewhere nearby. A new war broke out. Your shoulders are in knots. You just broke a glass.

Stress: It is everywhere, all the time, constant. It may even be growing. 

Yet oddly, society has taught us that it’s customary to respond “Fine, thanks” to the greeting, “How are you?”

But we’re not fine, really, most of the time. Very rarely are we fine. It’s time we admit it.

Sure, there are good days when the weather is perfectly to our liking, everyone tells us they love us, and every meal tastes amazing. When the sun shines on your shoulders and you have a moment to breathe deeply, yes, that’s fine.

But even on those days, when we think we’re fine, we don’t have to dig down too deeply to find a problem.

The modern world is filled with problems, and this news flash is coming from a very positive individual. I just think that in order to address our stress, heal our bodies and minds, and lighten our loads, we must see the never-ending stress of modern life for what it is. We can’t deny the pressures we face every day of our lives. 

Before my nephew started school, I found myself next to him in the backseat of a car. Whatever we were talking about, I responded, “Well, don’t stress out about it.”

“What is stress?” he asked innocently.

“May you never know, honey,” I replied.

Now he’s just started his first semester at a local university. I bet he knows what stress is now. We all know what stress is. We can feel it, even when we ask like we’re fine.

Just take a moment to give a big, deep inhale while reading this. Roll your shoulders back a few times. Feel those cracks and creaks coming from within? That’s your body holding stress. That’s you trying to process everything that’s happening that feels even minimally out of control, the stuff that brings this low-grade anxiety into our lives all the time. 

Still don’t believe me? Try sitting next to a dripping faucet and see how long your inner peace lasts. Two hundred years ago, that wasn’t a problem. There wasn’t indoor plumbing. In the span of human evolution, that wasn’t so long ago.

How Most People Handle Stress

Of course, humans have evolved to handle stress. I’m not acting like life before indoor plumbing — or even sliced bread — was easy. It was a different kind of stress. For example, 200 years ago, no one was disrupting their sleep by texting all night with a friend, scrolling social media, or even reading pages illuminated by electric light. If nothing else, we were sleeping better back then.

That’s why so many biohackers, researchers, and doctors point first to sleep (with nutrition as a close second) to begin a healing journey or even prevent disease. Around 30% of adults suffer from insomnia, according to the National Council on Aging. More than 13% of adults report simply feeling exhausted, even when they sleep fairly well. 

So, what’s the solution? Our brains work to figure out a self-soothing method. Unfortunately, we often miss the mark with these strategies. Most people handle chronic stress by eating treats, drinking alcohol, scrolling social media, and buying things they don’t need.

We’re so used to the Western medical ideal that we can just take a pill — that is, consume something — and magically, we’ll feel great. Again, it’s so rare that healing works like that. Our bodies are much more complex, and stress is, too.

You know the truth in your heart: You can’t buy your way out of misery. You can’t drink or eat or scroll your way around it. 

The only way to address the chronic stress crisis in the modern world is to face it head-on. It’s an individual process since everyone’s definition and levels of stress differ. It’s our job to rid our lives of as much stress as possible, and I’m here to help.

Step One: Understand Why Stress Is the Enemy 

Maybe you’re thinking, so what? Yeah, you’re tough and refuse to let all this chaos around you impact your life. You’ve built up a hard shell, like a turtle. Maybe you think we all shouldn’t be so sensitive.

But there’s a lot of power in sensitivity. It’s a quality we need to connect with others. It’s at the heart of the creative process. Without sensitivity, we are cut off from the world — part of self-mastery is fine-tuning the senses. 

Besides, ever come across someone who is hardened like this? They push down their suffering. Yet, it’s always obvious when you really look, right? If they did an especially good job, it’ll still appear as some kind of disease. 

The solution isn’t just hiding from the stress of life. We have to learn how to process it, and here’s why: Unprocessed, chronic stress is literally what kills us. 

In science, this kind of stress is called oxidative stress, and it degrades the body in whatever way your genetics are most weak. Oxidative stress comes from the toxins we ingest in all ways. It can be the alcohol from an amazing and expensive glass of wine, which we enjoy in part because we feel like it releases a form of stress. It certainly dulls the senses so the little things — like that constant hushed beep from a construction truck down the street — are no big deal.

But a nice chianti doesn’t make the big stuff go away. All disease is dis-ease. So, if you want to live a long, healthy, and happy life, it’s a good idea to address your stress now. 

Step Two: Identify Your Stressors

Don’t sweat the small stuff, they like to say, and it’s all small stuff.

Tell that to the dripping faucet! If you’re not mindful of the fact that there’s a drip coming from the kitchen, you won’t know that it needs fixing. That’s why the next step to reaching a more honest kind of “fine” is knowing what is stressing you out.

This step, I’ll warn you, feels overwhelming. The stuff you know needs to change in your world is the greatest source of stress. But those big knots are usually pretty tight and hard to unravel, otherwise it’d all be like water off a duck’s back.

Our complex relationships are filled with confusion and misunderstandings. And in this modern era, our relationships are more complex and greater in number than ever before. Just think about the last time someone you hadn’t talked to in years annoyed you through a social media site. It’s ridiculous, but it’s the reality of our chronically stressful lives. 

Technology is a major source of stress. There’s not enough wine (or drugs or shopping or social media or sugar) in the world to handle the stress from accidentally deleting all your files on your computer (trust me there). 

We don’t even need to get into environmental stressors that are basically beyond our control. Think “forever chemicals” aren’t really a problem because you can’t see them? Think again. You will always be sensitive to some things, no matter how hard of a shell you build up.

Step Three: Choose a Healthy Version of Stress

You may have thought the next step is to just chill out, but that’s not how the world works. Never does the barking command, “HEY! RELAX!” succeed. I sometimes wish there were such a thing as a chill pill, but we’ve already covered how drugs aren’t the answer.

Instead of figuring out how to fix all your external stressors, the next step to addressing chronic stress is to fortify your body to become less reactive. For this, I recommend bringing more stress into your life — but intentional stress. This kind of stress is different from chronic stress. You choose it. You gain control over it.

Exercise is a perfect example of this. No one really wants to sweat through their shirt. In fact, the mind fights against it at first because it’s trying to preserve calories for when you’re in the cave during winter and you can’t kill a wooly mammoth anytime soon. 

It’s only when you push through that homeostasis that you find that it actually feels good to push your body in movement. Your muscles have that satisfied discomfort that shows its breakdown, which of course is necessary before growth. All the endorphins and other brain chemicals released by exercise make you feel better. You become stronger.

There are other forms of intentional stress as well. I often fast — which is different from starving because I’m choosing not to eat and burn a little extra fuel. I try to spend time in saunas or go cold plunging whenever possible. I stress my brain by learning a new language and playing a musical instrument.

These are healthy forms of stress that allow my brain to grow, rather than divert my mind and body from normal, everyday functions. 

Step Four: Rest Before Burnout

Once you start to fill your days with activities that strengthen your ability to handle the realities of chronic stress, you may find your calendar is full. That’s when it’s time to implement the most powerful combatant to stress: rest.

Think nap time is just for kids? Think again.

In most cultures, adults stopped taking naps around the time that we decided that our brains and bodies stopped growing after our teenage years. With new neuroscience, we know now that the production of brain-derived neurotrophic factor, or BDNF, does slow down with age. With the right actions, however, we can keep producing it. 

But just because we can keep growing constantly doesn’t mean we should. We need to rest. Otherwise, we’ll burn out.

Most people heard of this concept, but burnout looks different for everyone. Usually, it involves the feeling that the chronic stress of the world is simply too much. When you burn out, you give up. You just want to stay in bed. Your adrenal glands, responsible for dealing with stress, are overworked to the point of failure.

This is why we must rest. What does rest look like? It’s not scrolling social media. It’s not watching a series. It’s not kicking back with a cold beer. Sorry. 

Rest is doing nothing. Here’s what I do: I set my phone timer for however long I can schedule for rest. Maybe it’s 15 minutes, maybe an hour. Then, I lie down in my bed and simply rest my body. I don’t think so much about trying to sleep. Instead, I focus on relaxing all my muscles. I try to adjust my body so that I’m completely comfortable, and this usually involves a few bones cracking. I breathe deeply. That’s it. 

Sometimes, I can sleep. Not always. Sometimes, I listen to binaural beats or sound healing (my favorite recently is Chantress Seba on YouTube). But that’s it. If I want to read, I read. But reading is still stimulating the brain. It’s not full rest, and that’s what we need.

Step Five: Keep a Gratitude Journal

As we slowly become more rested — and for some, this may take a long time, especially if they’ve made a habit of constant productivity — we may be able to address some things that are causing chronic stress. Well-rested people are more likely to eat healthier foods. They make better decisions because the brain functions better. Their body can function better.

When we rest, we can do stuff like fix that drippy faucet or take a walk to escape noisy environments. We can figure out how to get a new job with a less demanding boss, or we can have more energy to make a wholesome meal. 

But what about the electromagnetic frequencies from all these screens? What about that barking dog in the distance? What about the things that cause us stress that we cannot control? For these things, the answer is gratitude.

No, I don’t mean fooling yourself into acting like it’s a good thing that the baby next door can’t stop crying. I mean create a practice that focuses your attention on things that support your growth and development.

I keep a gratitude journal, where I write down 10 things I’m grateful for every day. It’s not always easy, but it’s a solid habit now. I spend the time I need to dig deep, even on the worst days, to find what I appreciate in my life. Sometimes I’m predictive about my gratitude. I’m so grateful that a literary agent will want to represent my book to option for screen adaptation! How exciting is that!?

A Final Word of Advice: “Just Say NO” to Stress

Do you have a friend who likes to gossip about others or someone who always sees ways that things can improve? After a while, all that drama gets exhausting. That’s why I started living in a drama-free zone as much as possible.

The same can be said for stress. You can act like my nephew when he was a little boy: You can decide that things aren’t going to impact you in a negative way. This is a nuanced difference from building a shell or avoiding reality. You can choose contentment and acceptance when there’s no way of addressing the stress.

Whenever something can change to bring in less stress, though, it should. Learn and make better decisions as you get in touch with what feels good and what feels stressful. You can take control of the external environment, but only after you regain control of your internal environment first. 

Addressing chronic stress may feel like turning the Titanic, but it’s worth it. When you reduce the level of stress in your life, you’ll feel better physically, gain more inner peace, and may even live longer — just so that dripping faucet doesn’t drive you crazy first. 

As a vegetarian for the last 33 years, I don’t need to watch those gory and heartbreaking movies about factory farming or anything that tries to encourage me away from meat. I get it. 

Of course, I’m in the minority. An estimated 22% of the world is vegetarian, with Hindus and women being the highest percentage of the population not eating animals. 

I’m not Hindu, but I do practice yoga every day. But that’s not why I’m a vegetarian. I never liked meat. I remember being in kindergarten and refusing disgusting beef stew and these “chicken croquets.” I mean, was that food?

Not to me. But that’s not the story for most people I know. I usually hear the old “but bacon is so goooooodd” in this way that the speaker looks at me like I couldn’t help but agree. But I don’t. I think bacon is death. Really. I don’t mean to be so stark about it, but that’s how I’ve always felt.

Recently, I did read a great book called “Whole: Rethinking the Science of Nutrition,” by Dr. T. Colin Campbell. It got fairly technical, but one takeaway was the importance of a holistic diet not focused on individual supplements. The other, bigger lesson from the book was the author’s clear scientific support for eating only a whole-foods, plant-based diet. 

I’m not here to preach or make you do something you don’t want to do — that’s the last thing I’d like to experience, too. You can read the book to learn the solid reasoning behind whole, vegetarian foods. That means no animal products. 

Full disclosure, I’m a lacto-ovo vegetarian and not a vegan. This means I consume dairy, eggs, and honey. For ethical reasons, I avoid most cow products after I passed a factory farm during my cross-country tour of the United States. I don’t live there anymore, and Europe and the rest of the world doesn’t work like that. But now I don’t digest cow dairy very well, in part because of exactly what Dr. Campbell explains in the book.

If you are interested in transforming your diet, there are a lot of good places to start. In this case, looking for low-hanging fruit isn’t even a metaphor!

1. Just say no to chemical junk

Look around your kitchen and pantry to take stock of what you’re currently buying. My biggest wins come from the decisions I make at the grocery store or market. If I buy the junk, I eat the junk. It’s as simple as that. 

Of course, it’s totally not simple. You can only imagine the fights I’ve had with myself in front of foods that I knew weren’t really good for me but were so tasty.  Aw, come on, I think as I see a bag of chocolate-flavored granola mixed with salted nuts and maybe some dried fruit. It’s not that bad! Sure, it’s sugary, salty, and I’ll probably eat the entire thing way faster than I want to admit. But look! It’s in the health food aisle so it must be good for me! 

I’m like a spoiled little kid and a loving-yet-firm mother, all in one, all playing out in my head.

But here’s a secret parents know: Eventually, if you operate consistently from a place of logic and love, the child recognizes that the parent is right and shows respect. That’s what healing the inner child looks like, too. 

The sticky wicket, then, is knowing how to define “junk.” That’s what the fights were about in front of the granola. I recommend using the concentric circle method. Start with the obvious junk and start cutting that out. You know what I mean already: tubs of ice cream, bags of corn chips, bottles of soda. Junk! 

With time, your body will adapt with fewer cravings. Your mind will be less interested in buying that stuff. You’ll start to notice that it actually feels better when you eat less-processed foods. 

For example, I’ve pretty much tamed the voice inside my head crying out for chocolate. It took discipline at first, and now I don’t even visit that section of the grocery store. I don’t even think about it.

2. Be honest about your food addictions

If you haven’t noticed, the world is filled with addictive things for you to buy and consume. Tobacco, alcohol, and drugs aren’t the only things that hijack the dopamine pathways and get you buying. Food is big business — and those businesses are built on getting you craving more.

It’s weird to think about me having a dark chocolate or granola addiction, but I can’t lie. On the rare occasion I allow myself a bag (usually the most artisan and a favorite flavor that I just can’t resist), it doesn’t make it long out of the shopping bag on my kitchen counter before I dive in. Can you relate?

Make a list of your go-to craveable foods. You’ll probably notice that these aren’t whole foods or plant-based. If they are, like granola, it’s likely because there’s an SOS component. This is a concept from the True North Health Center, where Dr. Alan Goldhamer has done lots of important work. SOS stands for salt, oil, and sugar. He recommends avoiding SOS completely.

3. Start cooking

So, what can you eat!? I used to wear a shirt that read, “There’s plenty to eat without choosing meat.” I used to get this question all the time, and it still pops up. There’s a misconception that there isn’t a cornucopia of abundance in terms of whole fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and grains that are wonderfully satisfying and delicious. 

Food deserts notwithstanding, you can probably find the produce section in the grocery store. Yes, chopping and cooking is less convenient. But you’ll live a healthier and, thus, happier life if you take the time to eat those foods. Food preparation isn’t something that everyone is taught, but it’s another example of self-parenting for yourself to do what’s best for you. 

I use cooking to embrace the digestion process. One reason that processed foods are so bad for you is that you are skipping ahead. The sugars rush straight to the bloodstream while the low-fiber solids sluggishly process through the intestines. No wonder you feel like crap! 

Soak raw nuts and dried beans. Cook rice and refrigerate it overnight before eating. Steam veggies in big batches. Cooking food can be simple.

For something more creative, buy a cookbook. My favorite whole foods, plant-based cookbook is by Mollie Katzen called “The Enchanted Broccoli Forest.” You may need to get a few extra ingredients, like soy sauce, yeast, or cinnamon, but it doesn’t take much to cook vegetarian whole foods. 

Do you fear that you’ll be so ravenous that you MUST eat something right now? Have pieces of fresh fruit handy. Fresh fruit is a treat, who disagrees?

4. Find a supportive community

Finally, a great way to support an increase in more plant-based, whole foods in your diet is to be around people who eat the same. For some, finding this kind of community in itself could be a major challenge.

You may be surprised. I travel all the time, and I often discover vegetarian groups that organize dinners out or potlucks in parks. Look for local Facebook or WhatsApp groups. Search the Meet Up site or look on bulletin boards of your local health food store, if you’re lucky enough to have one nearby. 

Some towns even host local farmer’s markets weekly during the growing season or maybe all year long. No, in general, farmer’s markets are not more expensive than grocery stores — when you buy in-season produce straight from the source. You have to be smart about what’s on offer, of course. 

Your dopamine hit no longer comes from the endless variety of manufactured food flavors but instead from whatever is freshest and sweetest at the moment. 

Personally, I love finding novel fruits to try as I travel. I have an especially wonderful memory of waiting for a mechanic to fix a popped tire on my scooter in Ho Chi Minh City; across the street was a massive pile of pink dragonfruit. I filled up my backpack with as many as could fit. 

Look for other people who get excited about that kind of thing. Believe it or not, we’re out there!