The Lovelight Project

Shining the Light on Happy, Healthy Living

My Top 5 Naturopathic Treatments for What Ails Ya

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There’s something magical about studying herbs, healing habits, and other natural remedies while spending the summer in a place where I can wander through wildflowers, soak in rivers, and quietly focus on my own well-being.

I notice what works for me, and I see what works for others, as I create a compendium of treatments to help clients with the endless versions of health concerns that present as suffering and blocks in the path. Overall, I’ve discovered that the most effective remedies are not the most expensive. In fact, they are often completely free. 

A walk in nature is also one of my favorite healing practices!

This reality goes against everything we’ve been taught by modern medicine. For decades now, modern society has come to believe, thanks to very expensive advertising campaigns, that we’ll need to take expensive pills for the rest of our days. If those pills cause additional problems in our lives, that’s just the way it is. We’re given a label, and that’s that.

If you buy in fully to your diagnosis label as a medical fact that can never be changed, then you’ll be correct. You’ll never have reason to deal with the root cause. It’s like trimming the leaves of a weed but never fully pulling it up, then wondering why it keeps emerging. 

Naturopathic remedies are holistic and, through optimistic curiosity and educated experimentation, try to find the root of the matter. We use whatever methods make the most sense: Diet and nutrition are usually the first experiments, but herbal teas, flower essences, yoga and movement therapies, and so many other healing traditions may follow. 

Naturopaths have a big toolbox, well beyond whatever mixture of lab-produced chemicals a pharmaceutical company is pushing to doctors at the time. The way to know which tool will help truly untie the inner knot is to first recognize that the actual root of most pain and suffering is a quite common one. 

No one’s pain is particularly special, yet all of us are very special indeed.

Pain has endless causes, but suffering does not. Suffering always is caused in the mind. You’ve likely heard those stories of old people who are dying but smile. You’ve heard of people whose shock from some event causes them to, at least temporarily, forget how much pain they’re in. 

We can sometimes put the cart before the horse, too. Much of the pain people have actually originates from the suffering they build around the initial cause. 

This secondary pain, of course, must be treated quite differently from the original cause of pain. Adults (and often children, alas) have traumas in all kinds of shapes and sizes. It may be some kind of loss you experienced or perhaps abusive behavior that you never processed. It could be the sad realization that you’ve spent a lifetime climbing the mountain, only to realize that you were climbing the wrong mountain.

Emotional suffering and physical pain do go hand-in-hand, and frequently it is the emotional pain that brings about the physical pain. It’s easier to talk about physical pain in today’s society, so sometimes we just make it that way. How? This is the power of the mind-body connection. 

We explore this in yoga sessions. If you’ve ever been in a pigeon pose and truly think you’re going to break, that your knee will rip out of the socket, that the hip will tear from all the searing pain, and that maybe if you tense up your shoulders and grit your teeth that you’ll survive … you know what I mean. We so often create our own misery.

But I’m more than a yoga teacher and naturopath. I’m also a journalist who’s interviewed scores of scientists and researchers. So, I don’t deny that some medical cures and interventions are very, very necessary. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a biohacker, too.

I know that if you’ve eaten a diet full of processed meats, preservative-rich chips, and sugar-filled cookies, it would help your health if you dramatically changed your diet to one filled with plant-based, whole foods. Unfortunately, that’s likely not enough to cure your cancer.

I love working with people who are past the dramas of how their pain is so much worse than everyone else’s pain, that I “just would never understand” how bad and special their pain is. The truth is, it’s not a contest. 

Some people suffer very small misgivings and create monuments to their pain that take years to break down, if they even prefer the crumbling to the honoring. 

Other people have constitutions and situations that allow them to process horrific traumas in a way that lightens their spirits and makes them more compassionate and caring for others. This is what Thich Nhat Hahn calls “suffering well.” 

A motivation for going through that “dark night of the soul” is so you can get to the end, see the light, and encourage others to keep going. This is what Eckhardt Tolle calls being part of the “new Earth.”

The first step on this sometimes very long path, then, is to recognize that you are your own healer. Only you know what happened, and only you know really what your sensory organs are telling you. When you listen deeply to yourself, magic happens. That’s exactly what it feels like when I wander through the mountains of Bulgaria, picking wildflower bouquets and researching different treatments for those who connect with me. 

Here are five of my favorite natural remedies that may benefit you in your life, too.

1. German chamomile

    In almost every little grocery store everywhere, you can find chamomile tea — and it’s not just because it’s a nice alternative to coffee. Chamomile, a pretty and delicate flower sprouting from soft, green ferns, has been widely studied by herbalists over the centuries. 

    This German chamomile grows wild just a block from my home.

    A mild sedative, it’s great for soothing the nervous system and encouraging sleep. In compresses, German chamomile also helps to speed wound healing and reduce inflammation. 

    Basically, this herb just instructs the body to calm down and let healing happen. There are many other herbs that act as nervine agents, but this one is perhaps the most well-known.

    Problems sleeping are increasingly common in this stressed-out modern life, but I wonder how many insomniacs brew cups of high-quality chamomile tea and sip quietly in the hour before they wish to sleep. A cup of tea isn’t a panacea, I know. But it’s the start of a bedtime ritual that can help you make a habit of relaxation every day.

    2. Warm lemon water

    For the last year, I’ve run accountability groups as part of my coaching work. To take advantage of the opportunity for growth and change, I usually choose a few daily healthy habits to push me toward achieving personal goals. This last round has included a new morning ritual I’ve called the 11:11:11 routine. It’s at least 11 ounces of water, at least 11 pushups, and at least 11 minutes of meditation. 

    It didn’t take long for me to add on. I’m now up to 20 pushups every morning and 15 minutes of meditation. I also drink two full glasses of water, and recently I’ve been making it warm lemon water.

    This joyful habit hydrates me after sleep. It stimulates my digestive system gently and provides a barrier for the gut before coffee. It also gives me a small boost of vitamin C.

    Vitamin C is known as “nature’s antibiotic” for good reason. Taking large amounts throughout the day (500 milligrams is the most the body can process at a time, with the rest simply passing straight to your urine) fights bacteria by changing the body’s internal pH balance enough to make it inhospitable for growth. 

    A urologist many years ago explained this to me … right after I balked at her prescription to take an antibiotic pill every day for the rest of my life to avoid further UTIs. Instead, I started doubling down on vitamin C when I felt that familiar ping of pain. I’ve never had a UTI since, and I take extra vitamin C whenever I’m feeling a little rundown.

    The warm lemon water doesn’t provide enough vitamin C to combat a UTI or a cold, but it can provide a small boost to the immune system. Doing it daily can add up, preventing more serious problems.

    3. Bach’s Flower Essence Rescue Remedy

      Flower essences fall under those naturopathic remedies that make more cynical people look sideways: So, you’re telling me that flowers are going to make everything better? Well, take it from me after I’ve picked a pretty bouquet and arranged it in my living room. Sometimes, they do.

      The best for anxiety!

      Flower essences differ from essential oils in that essences don’t contain active biological ingredients like terpenes, flavonoids, or other vital chemical compounds. These products are created more energetically in a way that one might say is, like a walk in the woods, magic. 

      And yet, talk to the millions of people around the globe who have used Bach’s Rescue Remedy. You can’t argue with results! This proprietary blend of five flowers (cherry plum, clematis, impatiens, Star of Bethlehem, and rock rose) helps you feel relaxed and calmer, especially when you’re on the verge of freaking out. 

      Rescue Remedy also works on pets. Just put a few drops on the soft bottom part of the paw. I used to have a cat with extreme abandonment issues, and he would make messes in a tragic attempt to get attention, negative or otherwise. This product was an important part of his healing journey. 

      4. Saying “no” to refined sugar and its addictive substitutes

      Part of the reason I sometimes crave an ice cream cone, I suspect, is because I need to let the cute little kid inside me pop up and get reminded that she’s loved. I’m not sure why else I would ever want to eat it otherwise, since in reality I get gassy and feel achy the next day. I’ve finally cut sugar from my daily diet long enough to directly connect the odd “I’m old” feeling with consuming sugar.

      You may feel like your creaky, inflamed body is a result of one of the diagnoses a doctor gives you, or you may feel that’s the reality of getting old. However, these symptoms often relate to chronic nutritional problems. On average, Americans eat 17 teaspoons of added sugar every day. That’s 60 pounds of sugar every year.

      Sugar, of course, sneaks in almost everywhere there is processing. It takes me a few hours of multitasking to make my own tomato sauce, which I prefer since almost every pre-jarred brand includes sugar. Most condiments and salad dressings have sugar. Most crackers and snack foods have sugar. If there is no sugar on the label, there’s likely one of its chemically produced replacements like corn syrup, aspartame, sucralose, and glucose. 

      As I weaned myself off sugar, I had a few months of allowing myself honey and dark chocolate. Psychologically, it didn’t take long to notice that I’d turn to one or the other as a “well-deserved treat after all my productivity.” I think that inner child was getting a little spoiled.

      But you know, honey made my hips inflamed too. Turns out extra sweetness is just, well, completely unnecessary. Beyond inflammation, too much of this “good thing” can cause obesity, type 2 diabetes, metabolic syndrome, dental issues, and many other health problems. It’s best to cut it (and all toxins, really) out of your life — completely if you can.

      5. Gratitude journaling

      With holistic health, as with everything, you must decide that you can heal yourself. This could be obvious for some and a mental “turning of the Titanic” for others. Simply believing in your own abilities may feel like a big fat lie if you’ve grown up with limiting beliefs and a lack of evidence from naturopathic work.

      Yet, both scientific research and spiritual texts confirm that the placebo effect — that what we believe does indeed manifest in our bodies — is real. That’s why all my clients use journaling prompts as part of their transformational journeys. 

      A journaling exercise I particularly enjoy is listing the things you are grateful for every day. I don’t just stop at one or two, like many pre-formatted journals. We’re forging new neuropathways in the brain to create thought processes that recognize gifts in our lives more easily. In turn, we actually have more gifts. Then we live a richer, fuller life. 

      As we move through that change, it can feel like “faking it ‘til you make it.” That’s why I make it tough. I ask my clients to write down 10 things every day. Some days, there will be some overlap of specific things on the list, but I encourage them to try to think up awesome new items each day. I’ve done the same thing for years. It works.

      If you’re of a cynical nature, you may think that gratitude sounds like pretty fluffy therapy — but there’s plenty of scientific research to support this, too. There’s a lesson in the Yoga Sutras called pratipaksha bhavana in Sanskrit. In essence, this is the practice of replacing a negative thought immediately with a positive one. 

      Again, at first, it feels like spiritual bypassing. Yes, we need to feel those feelings. But as we discussed earlier, our mental suffering often causes more pain. When we make a habit of focusing on the things that make our lives joyful, we will find more. We will notice less pain and feel better. I think everyone would appreciate that.

      Bonus Treatment: Stretching

      We all know we need to move our bodies, and even the simple 10,000-steps rule is a good place for many people to start. But when was the last time you stretched? Most of my clients try to integrate exercise, but they miss the benefits of static and kinetic stretching for the body.

      No, stretching doesn’t burn calories. It’s not going to give you great abs. But it will make your body feel better. Guaranteed. 

      If you add five to 10 minutes a day to stretch your body, I am here to tell you that those deep breaths will make a difference. Your fascia, or the connective netting that holds the muscles to the bones, needs to stretch (and be hydrated! Drink water!). Your tendons, ligaments, and joints need to stretch. 

      Otherwise, things get really tight. Soon, you’ll be shuffling around like those old folks who can barely look up. You don’t want to age like that, do you?

      My simple daily routine always includes the six movements of the spine. That consists of side bends — first to the right, and second to the left. Then make a cat/cow shape with the body, bringing the shoulders back as you look up and jut your tailbone out, then curve in and look at your belly button. Then inhale as you twist and hold to the right, then twist and hold to the left. 

      That’s the bare minimum that everyone should do. Add in more yoga or stretching to feel even better … which is why we seek out all this magic, right? Let’s feel better together!

      We’re Not Fine: Modern Living Means Chronic Stress, and Here Are Ways To Address It

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      Dog barking, baby crying, truck belching smoke nearby. 

      Cell phone tower pinging, deadlines looming, and this afternoon’s takeout lunch isn’t digesting so well.

      Your spouse is angry, your child’s tired, and the boss has reached a new low. Dinner arrives in plastic, bills keep coming, and there’s a strange mystery beeping somewhere nearby. A new war broke out. Your shoulders are in knots. You just broke a glass.

      Stress: It is everywhere, all the time, constant. It may even be growing. 

      Yet oddly, society has taught us that it’s customary to respond “Fine, thanks” to the greeting, “How are you?”

      But we’re not fine, really, most of the time. Very rarely are we fine. It’s time we admit it.

      Sure, there are good days when the weather is perfectly to our liking, everyone tells us they love us, and every meal tastes amazing. When the sun shines on your shoulders and you have a moment to breathe deeply, yes, that’s fine.

      But even on those days, when we think we’re fine, we don’t have to dig down too deeply to find a problem.

      The modern world is filled with problems, and this news flash is coming from a very positive individual. I just think that in order to address our stress, heal our bodies and minds, and lighten our loads, we must see the never-ending stress of modern life for what it is. We can’t deny the pressures we face every day of our lives. 

      Before my nephew started school, I found myself next to him in the backseat of a car. Whatever we were talking about, I responded, “Well, don’t stress out about it.”

      “What is stress?” he asked innocently.

      “May you never know, honey,” I replied.

      Now he’s just started his first semester at a local university. I bet he knows what stress is now. We all know what stress is. We can feel it, even when we ask like we’re fine.

      Just take a moment to give a big, deep inhale while reading this. Roll your shoulders back a few times. Feel those cracks and creaks coming from within? That’s your body holding stress. That’s you trying to process everything that’s happening that feels even minimally out of control, the stuff that brings this low-grade anxiety into our lives all the time. 

      Still don’t believe me? Try sitting next to a dripping faucet and see how long your inner peace lasts. Two hundred years ago, that wasn’t a problem. There wasn’t indoor plumbing. In the span of human evolution, that wasn’t so long ago.

      How Most People Handle Stress

      Of course, humans have evolved to handle stress. I’m not acting like life before indoor plumbing — or even sliced bread — was easy. It was a different kind of stress. For example, 200 years ago, no one was disrupting their sleep by texting all night with a friend, scrolling social media, or even reading pages illuminated by electric light. If nothing else, we were sleeping better back then.

      That’s why so many biohackers, researchers, and doctors point first to sleep (with nutrition as a close second) to begin a healing journey or even prevent disease. Around 30% of adults suffer from insomnia, according to the National Council on Aging. More than 13% of adults report simply feeling exhausted, even when they sleep fairly well. 

      So, what’s the solution? Our brains work to figure out a self-soothing method. Unfortunately, we often miss the mark with these strategies. Most people handle chronic stress by eating treats, drinking alcohol, scrolling social media, and buying things they don’t need.

      We’re so used to the Western medical ideal that we can just take a pill — that is, consume something — and magically, we’ll feel great. Again, it’s so rare that healing works like that. Our bodies are much more complex, and stress is, too.

      You know the truth in your heart: You can’t buy your way out of misery. You can’t drink or eat or scroll your way around it. 

      The only way to address the chronic stress crisis in the modern world is to face it head-on. It’s an individual process since everyone’s definition and levels of stress differ. It’s our job to rid our lives of as much stress as possible, and I’m here to help.

      Step One: Understand Why Stress Is the Enemy 

      Maybe you’re thinking, so what? Yeah, you’re tough and refuse to let all this chaos around you impact your life. You’ve built up a hard shell, like a turtle. Maybe you think we all shouldn’t be so sensitive.

      But there’s a lot of power in sensitivity. It’s a quality we need to connect with others. It’s at the heart of the creative process. Without sensitivity, we are cut off from the world — part of self-mastery is fine-tuning the senses. 

      Besides, ever come across someone who is hardened like this? They push down their suffering. Yet, it’s always obvious when you really look, right? If they did an especially good job, it’ll still appear as some kind of disease. 

      The solution isn’t just hiding from the stress of life. We have to learn how to process it, and here’s why: Unprocessed, chronic stress is literally what kills us. 

      In science, this kind of stress is called oxidative stress, and it degrades the body in whatever way your genetics are most weak. Oxidative stress comes from the toxins we ingest in all ways. It can be the alcohol from an amazing and expensive glass of wine, which we enjoy in part because we feel like it releases a form of stress. It certainly dulls the senses so the little things — like that constant hushed beep from a construction truck down the street — are no big deal.

      But a nice chianti doesn’t make the big stuff go away. All disease is dis-ease. So, if you want to live a long, healthy, and happy life, it’s a good idea to address your stress now. 

      Step Two: Identify Your Stressors

      Don’t sweat the small stuff, they like to say, and it’s all small stuff.

      Tell that to the dripping faucet! If you’re not mindful of the fact that there’s a drip coming from the kitchen, you won’t know that it needs fixing. That’s why the next step to reaching a more honest kind of “fine” is knowing what is stressing you out.

      This step, I’ll warn you, feels overwhelming. The stuff you know needs to change in your world is the greatest source of stress. But those big knots are usually pretty tight and hard to unravel, otherwise it’d all be like water off a duck’s back.

      Our complex relationships are filled with confusion and misunderstandings. And in this modern era, our relationships are more complex and greater in number than ever before. Just think about the last time someone you hadn’t talked to in years annoyed you through a social media site. It’s ridiculous, but it’s the reality of our chronically stressful lives. 

      Technology is a major source of stress. There’s not enough wine (or drugs or shopping or social media or sugar) in the world to handle the stress from accidentally deleting all your files on your computer (trust me there). 

      We don’t even need to get into environmental stressors that are basically beyond our control. Think “forever chemicals” aren’t really a problem because you can’t see them? Think again. You will always be sensitive to some things, no matter how hard of a shell you build up.

      Step Three: Choose a Healthy Version of Stress

      You may have thought the next step is to just chill out, but that’s not how the world works. Never does the barking command, “HEY! RELAX!” succeed. I sometimes wish there were such a thing as a chill pill, but we’ve already covered how drugs aren’t the answer.

      Instead of figuring out how to fix all your external stressors, the next step to addressing chronic stress is to fortify your body to become less reactive. For this, I recommend bringing more stress into your life — but intentional stress. This kind of stress is different from chronic stress. You choose it. You gain control over it.

      Exercise is a perfect example of this. No one really wants to sweat through their shirt. In fact, the mind fights against it at first because it’s trying to preserve calories for when you’re in the cave during winter and you can’t kill a wooly mammoth anytime soon. 

      It’s only when you push through that homeostasis that you find that it actually feels good to push your body in movement. Your muscles have that satisfied discomfort that shows its breakdown, which of course is necessary before growth. All the endorphins and other brain chemicals released by exercise make you feel better. You become stronger.

      There are other forms of intentional stress as well. I often fast — which is different from starving because I’m choosing not to eat and burn a little extra fuel. I try to spend time in saunas or go cold plunging whenever possible. I stress my brain by learning a new language and playing a musical instrument.

      These are healthy forms of stress that allow my brain to grow, rather than divert my mind and body from normal, everyday functions. 

      Step Four: Rest Before Burnout

      Once you start to fill your days with activities that strengthen your ability to handle the realities of chronic stress, you may find your calendar is full. That’s when it’s time to implement the most powerful combatant to stress: rest.

      Think nap time is just for kids? Think again.

      In most cultures, adults stopped taking naps around the time that we decided that our brains and bodies stopped growing after our teenage years. With new neuroscience, we know now that the production of brain-derived neurotrophic factor, or BDNF, does slow down with age. With the right actions, however, we can keep producing it. 

      But just because we can keep growing constantly doesn’t mean we should. We need to rest. Otherwise, we’ll burn out.

      Most people heard of this concept, but burnout looks different for everyone. Usually, it involves the feeling that the chronic stress of the world is simply too much. When you burn out, you give up. You just want to stay in bed. Your adrenal glands, responsible for dealing with stress, are overworked to the point of failure.

      This is why we must rest. What does rest look like? It’s not scrolling social media. It’s not watching a series. It’s not kicking back with a cold beer. Sorry. 

      Rest is doing nothing. Here’s what I do: I set my phone timer for however long I can schedule for rest. Maybe it’s 15 minutes, maybe an hour. Then, I lie down in my bed and simply rest my body. I don’t think so much about trying to sleep. Instead, I focus on relaxing all my muscles. I try to adjust my body so that I’m completely comfortable, and this usually involves a few bones cracking. I breathe deeply. That’s it. 

      Sometimes, I can sleep. Not always. Sometimes, I listen to binaural beats or sound healing (my favorite recently is Chantress Seba on YouTube). But that’s it. If I want to read, I read. But reading is still stimulating the brain. It’s not full rest, and that’s what we need.

      Step Five: Keep a Gratitude Journal

      As we slowly become more rested — and for some, this may take a long time, especially if they’ve made a habit of constant productivity — we may be able to address some things that are causing chronic stress. Well-rested people are more likely to eat healthier foods. They make better decisions because the brain functions better. Their body can function better.

      When we rest, we can do stuff like fix that drippy faucet or take a walk to escape noisy environments. We can figure out how to get a new job with a less demanding boss, or we can have more energy to make a wholesome meal. 

      But what about the electromagnetic frequencies from all these screens? What about that barking dog in the distance? What about the things that cause us stress that we cannot control? For these things, the answer is gratitude.

      No, I don’t mean fooling yourself into acting like it’s a good thing that the baby next door can’t stop crying. I mean create a practice that focuses your attention on things that support your growth and development.

      I keep a gratitude journal, where I write down 10 things I’m grateful for every day. It’s not always easy, but it’s a solid habit now. I spend the time I need to dig deep, even on the worst days, to find what I appreciate in my life. Sometimes I’m predictive about my gratitude. I’m so grateful that a literary agent will want to represent my book to option for screen adaptation! How exciting is that!?

      A Final Word of Advice: “Just Say NO” to Stress

      Do you have a friend who likes to gossip about others or someone who always sees ways that things can improve? After a while, all that drama gets exhausting. That’s why I started living in a drama-free zone as much as possible.

      The same can be said for stress. You can act like my nephew when he was a little boy: You can decide that things aren’t going to impact you in a negative way. This is a nuanced difference from building a shell or avoiding reality. You can choose contentment and acceptance when there’s no way of addressing the stress.

      Whenever something can change to bring in less stress, though, it should. Learn and make better decisions as you get in touch with what feels good and what feels stressful. You can take control of the external environment, but only after you regain control of your internal environment first. 

      Addressing chronic stress may feel like turning the Titanic, but it’s worth it. When you reduce the level of stress in your life, you’ll feel better physically, gain more inner peace, and may even live longer — just so that dripping faucet doesn’t drive you crazy first. 

      4 Steps Toward Whole-Food, Plant-Based Living

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      As a vegetarian for the last 33 years, I don’t need to watch those gory and heartbreaking movies about factory farming or anything that tries to encourage me away from meat. I get it. 

      Of course, I’m in the minority. An estimated 22% of the world is vegetarian, with Hindus and women being the highest percentage of the population not eating animals. 

      I’m not Hindu, but I do practice yoga every day. But that’s not why I’m a vegetarian. I never liked meat. I remember being in kindergarten and refusing disgusting beef stew and these “chicken croquets.” I mean, was that food?

      Not to me. But that’s not the story for most people I know. I usually hear the old “but bacon is so goooooodd” in this way that the speaker looks at me like I couldn’t help but agree. But I don’t. I think bacon is death. Really. I don’t mean to be so stark about it, but that’s how I’ve always felt.

      Recently, I did read a great book called “Whole: Rethinking the Science of Nutrition,” by Dr. T. Colin Campbell. It got fairly technical, but one takeaway was the importance of a holistic diet not focused on individual supplements. The other, bigger lesson from the book was the author’s clear scientific support for eating only a whole-foods, plant-based diet. 

      I’m not here to preach or make you do something you don’t want to do — that’s the last thing I’d like to experience, too. You can read the book to learn the solid reasoning behind whole, vegetarian foods. That means no animal products. 

      Full disclosure, I’m a lacto-ovo vegetarian and not a vegan. This means I consume dairy, eggs, and honey. For ethical reasons, I avoid most cow products after I passed a factory farm during my cross-country tour of the United States. I don’t live there anymore, and Europe and the rest of the world doesn’t work like that. But now I don’t digest cow dairy very well, in part because of exactly what Dr. Campbell explains in the book.

      If you are interested in transforming your diet, there are a lot of good places to start. In this case, looking for low-hanging fruit isn’t even a metaphor!

      1. Just say no to chemical junk

      Look around your kitchen and pantry to take stock of what you’re currently buying. My biggest wins come from the decisions I make at the grocery store or market. If I buy the junk, I eat the junk. It’s as simple as that. 

      Of course, it’s totally not simple. You can only imagine the fights I’ve had with myself in front of foods that I knew weren’t really good for me but were so tasty.  Aw, come on, I think as I see a bag of chocolate-flavored granola mixed with salted nuts and maybe some dried fruit. It’s not that bad! Sure, it’s sugary, salty, and I’ll probably eat the entire thing way faster than I want to admit. But look! It’s in the health food aisle so it must be good for me

      I’m like a spoiled little kid and a loving-yet-firm mother, all in one, all playing out in my head.

      But here’s a secret parents know: Eventually, if you operate consistently from a place of logic and love, the child recognizes that the parent is right and shows respect. That’s what healing the inner child looks like, too. 

      The sticky wicket, then, is knowing how to define “junk.” That’s what the fights were about in front of the granola. I recommend using the concentric circle method. Start with the obvious junk and start cutting that out. You know what I mean already: tubs of ice cream, bags of corn chips, bottles of soda. Junk! 

      With time, your body will adapt with fewer cravings. Your mind will be less interested in buying that stuff. You’ll start to notice that it actually feels better when you eat less-processed foods. 

      For example, I’ve pretty much tamed the voice inside my head crying out for chocolate. It took discipline at first, and now I don’t even visit that section of the grocery store. I don’t even think about it.

      2. Be honest about your food addictions

      If you haven’t noticed, the world is filled with addictive things for you to buy and consume. Tobacco, alcohol, and drugs aren’t the only things that hijack the dopamine pathways and get you buying. Food is big business — and those businesses are built on getting you craving more.

      It’s weird to think about me having a dark chocolate or granola addiction, but I can’t lie. On the rare occasion I allow myself a bag (usually the most artisan and a favorite flavor that I just can’t resist), it doesn’t make it long out of the shopping bag on my kitchen counter before I dive in. Can you relate?

      Make a list of your go-to craveable foods. You’ll probably notice that these aren’t whole foods or plant-based. If they are, like granola, it’s likely because there’s an SOS component. This is a concept from the True North Health Center, where Dr. Alan Goldhamer has done lots of important work. SOS stands for salt, oil, and sugar. He recommends avoiding SOS completely.

      3. Start cooking

      So, what can you eat!? I used to wear a shirt that read, “There’s plenty to eat without choosing meat.” I used to get this question all the time, and it still pops up. There’s a misconception that there isn’t a cornucopia of abundance in terms of whole fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and grains that are wonderfully satisfying and delicious. 

      Food deserts notwithstanding, you can probably find the produce section in the grocery store. Yes, chopping and cooking is less convenient. But you’ll live a healthier and, thus, happier life if you take the time to eat those foods. Food preparation isn’t something that everyone is taught, but it’s another example of self-parenting for yourself to do what’s best for you. 

      I use cooking to embrace the digestion process. One reason that processed foods are so bad for you is that you are skipping ahead. The sugars rush straight to the bloodstream while the low-fiber solids sluggishly process through the intestines. No wonder you feel like crap! 

      Soak raw nuts and dried beans. Cook rice and refrigerate it overnight before eating. Steam veggies in big batches. Cooking food can be simple.

      For something more creative, buy a cookbook. My favorite whole foods, plant-based cookbook is by Mollie Katzen called “The Enchanted Broccoli Forest.” You may need to get a few extra ingredients, like soy sauce, yeast, or cinnamon, but it doesn’t take much to cook vegetarian whole foods. 

      Do you fear that you’ll be so ravenous that you MUST eat something right now? Have pieces of fresh fruit handy. Fresh fruit is a treat, who disagrees?

      4. Find a supportive community

      Finally, a great way to support an increase in more plant-based, whole foods in your diet is to be around people who eat the same. For some, finding this kind of community in itself could be a major challenge.

      You may be surprised. I travel all the time, and I often discover vegetarian groups that organize dinners out or potlucks in parks. Look for local Facebook or WhatsApp groups. Search the Meet Up site or look on bulletin boards of your local health food store, if you’re lucky enough to have one nearby. 

      Some towns even host local farmer’s markets weekly during the growing season or maybe all year long. No, in general, farmer’s markets are not more expensive than grocery stores — when you buy in-season produce straight from the source. You have to be smart about what’s on offer, of course. 

      Your dopamine hit no longer comes from the endless variety of manufactured food flavors but instead from whatever is freshest and sweetest at the moment. 

      Personally, I love finding novel fruits to try as I travel. I have an especially wonderful memory of waiting for a mechanic to fix a popped tire on my scooter in Ho Chi Minh City; across the street was a massive pile of pink dragonfruit. I filled up my backpack with as many as could fit. 

      Look for other people who get excited about that kind of thing. Believe it or not, we’re out there!

      Modern-Day Face Dysmorphia

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      When Michael Jackson was looking at the Man in the Mirror, I’m not sure he was talking about face dysmorphia — but he could have been. After all, he’s one of the original influencers who showed people how dramatically one could change their face.

      Looking back at the young pop star compared to the face of the man who died, the American psychodrama of Michael Jackson is shocking.

      I'm pretty sure this "before" photo is more like a "middle." Vogue isn't exactly the source for natural beauty anyway.

      The women I pass on the street everyday must agree, because their eyebrows are suspended with painted disbelief.

      Thick, dark brows throw shade on ridiculously extended eyelashes. Two older women next to me at the gym yesterday were smearing on eye crayons to give their eye skin color. And then there are modern lips.

      I can’t imagine paying someone to inject me in the lip numerous times with chemicals to create a plumpness that doesn’t exist in nature. Yet, I see society’s expectations of feminine beauty. It seems lips have to be a certain shape to attract a man. Yes, men must be very particular about what lips they want to have on their body parts. Right.

      I even have a client who sells artificial intelligence skin scanners. Medical spas sit a client down for a consultation, takes a picture of their face, and then proceeds to show them all the things wrong with it. It sounds like a gruesome sorority initiation to me. No thanks!

      So, how exactly is my face supposed to look? I guess it depends on your culture, heritage, ethnicity, society, norms, expectations, age, race, gender, preferences, and an endless number of other things. I know one universal truth these days: You better be ready for your closeup at all times.

      Everyone is a supermodel, right? I can only presume this because everyone is taking selfies. Really, everyone. Please comment if you do not take selfies, and I’m going to guess that you have righteous stance against it … only underscoring how common this phenomenon is.

      Twenty years ago, we didn’t all have cameras in our pockets. Today, of course, every person over the age of 8 not only has a camera in their pocket but likely in their hand, which is held up to their face. I have stopped counting the number of people I pass in zombie walks, staring at their phones and totally unaware of anyone else on the sidewalk.

      I also have a camera in my pocket. I like taking pictures too — although I tend to save my camera for pretty sunsets.

      I remember when selfies were first a thing. I was one of those people who would stop people taking selfies and ask if they would like to have me take their picture. Of course, any picture composed and shot by a third person who knows even the slightest about photography is better than the up-the-nose shot. Still, it didn’t take long for enough people to decline my offer before I realized that people like that angle.

      Even more so, I see full-scale photo shoots taking place. I live in a picturesque beach town, so it’s cool. I get the importance of vacation photos, and quick snaps with friends is a great way to capture life. That’s not really what I’m talking about here. I see friends taking numerous shots as their buddy strikes pose after pose, looking dejected and gaunt just like super-models.

      People don’t even need cameras. On my way to and from the gym, there are apartments with reflective glass. Everyone who passes checks themselves out. Everyone is a modern-day Narcissus. We’re all wannabe supermodels.

      Is this a real woman or is it AI?

      You’re either a celebrity or you’re nobody.

      Of course, body dysmorphia has long been a common phenomenon. All these impossibly skinny women certainly impress me — or at least the Meta avatar of me seems to think. Soon after joining a group focused on the health benefits of fasting, I started to notice the suggested Reels on Facebook all encouraging me to lose weight, eat high-protein snacks, and feel confident in certain outfits. Lots of people have FIVE (outstretched palm to camera) THINGS I HAD TO KNOW.

      Few are talking to me about face dysmorphia, however. It is in the DSM-5? it should be. As I described in my travel memoir One-Way Ticket (why yes, the audiobook is out, thanks so much for asking!), I often witnessed Koreans stroking their cheeks in the metro as they surely considered a new plastic surgery. The skincare game there was on a whole other level.

      So, I know I’m not the only one who looks in the mirror and wonders, really? Is this what a face is supposed to be shaped like? I mean, human faces are kind of weird, really. The nose, the skin, pores — you know thateyes are simply extensions of the brain that stick out of your skull, right? It’s so romantic!

      Add in trends with eyebrows, eyelashes, lips, and even holes in your face that you put their yourself, and I just don’t know what to think about myself. When I was a teenager, I discovered black liquid eyeliner. It looks great on me. I wore it every day in an arthouse kind of way. One day, as I was removing my makeup at the mirror, I thought, “I don’t really look right without eye liner.” Thankfully, I was self-aware enough even at that young age to recognize how mentally unhealthy that thought was.

      And yet, the idea that unnatural is “better” is an easy conclusion when we see all the supermodels everywhere, all the time, posing and looking fabulous. Are some people really that perfect-looking? I guess so. But most of us look kind of strange, really.

      Look, it's a "pretty" woman. Insert uncomfortable silence here.

      I value nature, so I embrace a very natural look. I rarely wear makeup, and I try to use healthy foods and clean water to improve the health. Healthy is the most beautiful, right? That … or Kim Kardashian. Because today with the endless photos and societal pressures for perfection, fake may win over natural beauty.

      You Can’t Rush Toenails — or Healing

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      You read it here first: Your trauma heals as fast as your toenails grow. We all want to know how long it takes to move on from a bad experience, and that’s the answer. At least, that’s my theory.

      If you’ve had a heartbreak or something traumatic happen — which is everyone, by the way, every single person in this existence — you’ve probably wondered when the pain would end. I certainly have. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a sticker or something that proclaims definitively that you’ve healed whatever wounds you are carrying around?

      Your toenail could be that proof. Years ago, a full bottle of wine slipped out of my shopping bag and fell on my big toe. My toe stopped the bottle from shattering all over my kitchen, for which I had gratitude, but it hurt like hell. I was alone in my house, and it didn’t do any good to scream. Instead, I got a frozen orange out of my freezer and put it on the toe. It was soon black and blue.

      It took months to grow out. I had gotten a cover-up pedicure as it was reaching critical mass, and the nail tech promised me it would not break off in a creepy way that snags on socks. She was wrong. But eventually, the toe was back to normal. There’s a natural, clear timeline with nails growing out. You can’t rush it.

      You can’t rush your healing, either.

      I’ve just started The Body Keeps Score, but I know all about storing trauma in the body. As dedicated readers know, I completed the 10-day silent Vipassana course last August, seven months ago. Since then, I’ve undergone a significant process of internal

      Positive reinforcement for growth is hard to come by, especially for Generation X. I'd like you to know that you are doing a great job healing yourself!

      energy releases.

      These releases feel uncomfortable: mostly shots of pain down the side of my leg and bubbles of gas internally moving, somehow, spontaneously. I went to acupuncture appointments, lots of yoga classes, and dance classes. I’ve done more meditation, squats, massage, and lots of adjusting my spine. I can crack my back better than most.

      Lately, I’ve noticed my hip is feeling a little better. I’m still moving it a lot. But now the muscle of my left hip, which always felt like the root of the worst of the pain, has stopped searing. Instead, it’s been fluttering painlessly. I can feel it sometimes when I put my open palm curiously on the spot. It feels like a softening.

      “You should just decide it’s a healing sensation,” my friend Danny said to me, echoing the same advice on manifesting positive outcomes with thoughts that I’ve said to him a thousand times. I needed the reminder.

      But then, I could just look at my toenails. I don’t think there’s really any science to support this theory, but I suspect a correlation.

      Healthline, the omnipotent online medical resource, reports that toenails grow more slowly than fingernails. Human toenails grow an average of 1.62 millimeters a month, a length I understand because I live in Europe. Americans will need to do some math.

      Let me help: At the average rate, it takes a little over six months for a toenail to grow a centimeter, or a little more than a third of an inch.

      The theory got interesting for me because, around the same time as I completed the Vipassana course, I also had a short relationship with a man who treated me to a pedicure before attempting to steal my passport and play all kinds of crazy-making head games. I wrote about it in the preface of One-Way Ticket. He was looney tunes, but, like, in a clinical way.

      I knew I had some psychological scars when I arrived in Spain on October 1, but I focused on finishing the book that I had been working on for the last two years. I was in the final editing stage when I fielded calls from the London Metropolitan Police Department to ask me about the man.

      Because I love you, I'm not including a picture of gross toes.

      But I had other scars, too. My toenails developed leukonychia. This is a condition when white spots appear on the nail bed due, often, to aggressive nail filing at that pedicure about six months ago. So, in essence, my toenails were traumatized at the same time as my psychodrama with a crazy dude in London.

      By the way, have you been in a psychodrama? My friend reached out to me recently with one: Some guy came to her yoga class and was a total creep-a-zoid, staring at her and basically freaking her out for no discernable reason.

      Eeek! Eeek! Eeek! We all know that Psycho shower scene, and it's, um, totally traumatic!

      “He didn’t actually do anything,” she explained. “It was his energy. Is this even making sense?”

      Psychodramas are designed to make you doubt your own sanity. I wish there could be a 1-800 lawyer popping into this blog and telling you that you may be entitled to compensation if you know what I’m talking about. If only suffering really worked like that.

      As Buddha teaches with the Four Noble Truths, suffering is inevitable, but the good news is that we can choose to end our suffering. That sounds good! I would like to end my suffering. Wouldn’t you? I mean, duh.

      But, um, hey Buddha? How long will it take? Can we let go of our trauma in just a snap? Is war over because we want it? The answer is clearly yes. I love hearing spiritual teachings about the possibility of entering bliss eternal, whatever that looks like in your head, instantly. I love the idea of hopping in the afterlife express lane out of this life of suffering.

      Unfortunately, most people have to do the work to condition themselves enough to be on their feet when they cross the finish line, so they can know where to run when the express lane prevents itself. If you’re like me, we really ought to start stretching more. Maybe it’s instant, but I think it’s a good idea to prepare just in case it’s not.

      And so, for the last months, I went to therapy, worked creatively, exercised until I was sweaty, and ate healthy, whole foods. I’m also weaning myself off an unhealthy dependence on dark chocolate. I’ve been meditating regularly and practicing yoga, and I’m just two weeks away from celebrating my third year of being sober from alcohol.

      I also have been watching the white spots on my toenails grow out. I’ve been keeping them short, as it feels good to see the healthy nail bed grow back. It’s getting there. It’s not all gone yet. But it will be. Change is constant — and we have the power to heal our bodies, hearts, minds, and, yes, toenails.

      Dance in the Streets!

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      It’s not too much of a stretch of someone who wrote a book entitled “Operation Big Fun” to write a blog about the wild, crazy, and super-funny street party that is Carnaval. It finally wrapped up here in the Canary Islands of Spain, and it ended with a bang of confetti all over my head.

      However, I must admit I had been basically hiding from Carnaval for the last month, as I’d instead been working on creative projects and trying to get healthy by moving my body at the gym. I’ve been so focused, in fact, that my friend Tricia repeatedly recommended I have more fun.

      The 2024 Carnaval theme was "Carnavales del Mundo." This included an out-of-place American who didn't know she was supposed to wear a costume like Halloween.

      But I never felt like I was really missing out. I checked out the schedule of events, and there were no headliner musicians I couldn’t miss. Nor was I particularly interested in buying a ticket to one of the galas. I don’t drink alcohol at all and can’t handle that much crowd energy anymore without a good reason.

      I passed the epicenter of the Carnaval grounds many times on my way to my weekly group meditation. It resembled a small fair in the United States with its rides and booths. “El Barco” was the Viking Ship and just as terrifying, I’m sure, given the likelihood of a person who works at the carnival forgetting to check all the screws before starting up the old contraption.

      I didn’t attend any Carnaval parties, in part because I was also still exhausted from the long string of fiestas that take place during the entirety of November, December, and January. Of course, Christmas — which is celebrated here on Christmas Eve and Christmas itself — is a big deal for this Catholic nation. New Year’s Eve is a huge party anywhere. Here, the Epiphany on January 6th is an even bigger deal with a parade with the Three Kings. Carnaval started before that and lasted all the way until yesterday.

      Although this morning, as I was lifting the kettlebell and enjoying a view of the passersby on the paseo, I saw a couple walking in elaborate costumes. So maybe nothing’s over. You just don’t turn it off. A little research showed me there was a drone show today and a concert by a Marc Anthony tribute band. I missed it.

      I actually wasn’t even sure I was going to get out the door to go to the parade yesterday. When you’re in a creative project, if you’re

      Unlike in the U.S. Virgin Islands, this Carnaval celebration features drag queens. Even the 10-year-old boy next to me watching the parade was, I think, Marilyn Monroe.

      anything like me, you’re drawn inward in a way that’s almost magnetic. As I said, my level of artmaking has been verging on serious. That’s no good!

      So, I was reminded about how ridiculous and hilarious everyday life is by just wandering out on the streets yesterday for La Gran Cabalgata. This is the final, massive street parade that ends with yet another all-night celebration. I knew I’d skip out on the all-nighter since I had already scheduled a yoga class this morning. But I do love a good parade.

      I was curious to see if this Carnaval parade would be different than the one I enjoyed in St. Thomas and St. John of the U.S. Virgin Islands. There, the adult parade was filled with groups in matching, revealing outfits. There were plenty of sexy men and women, the latter of which highlighted for me how very different beauty standards are for different cultures. The soft, fleshy bodies that were shaking down the streets of Charlotte Amalie weren’t how I’d want my body to ever look, and yet they were beautiful, full stop!

      The last parade I attended was in New Orleans two Halloweens ago. That city really knows how to celebrate! The parade was filled with marching bands, dancers, and even guys dressed as dead Elvises riding motorbikes. My bag was filled with all kinds of freebies float riders threw to me. In fact, I befriended the people around me so we could work together to manage our pile of goodies.

      Indeed, the Canary Islands do it differently. The first thing I noticed on my way to the parade route was that nearly everyone in attendance was dressed in really fun and creative costumes. Both children and adults wore costumes, and many families created themes in which everyone participated. Some were elaborate, but most were simply fun.

      This was a creative and almost free costume -- he put some forethought into where those dark pixels were!

      There were lots of Mario Brothers, Carmen Mirandas, Minnie Mouses, M&Ms, pirates, hippies, steampunks, old folks, superheroes, King Tuts, and Barbies. Gym bunnies, soldiers, cats, and more than one La Calavera Catrina in an interesting crossover from the Day of the Dead. Yes, of course that’s also celebrated here along with Halloween.

      Marching in between the big floats, I saw Trump waving a big American flag, Fidel Castro chomping a cigar, the Pope in a car with a squad of Secret Service protectors. I also spotted a few male London Buckingham guards (who were wearing miniskirts and stilettos), a few bums who offered to share some uncooked bacon with me, and a guy in a trench coat who, when he flashed the crowd, displayed a pixelated board that thankfully edited out what we didn’t want to see. I also liked the guy who had a mohawk and a ghetto blaster radio who was a punk rocker, as well as the crew of friends who dressed up like a yellow Guagua, which is the local bus.

      The parade kicked off with the Reina of Carnaval 2024, a beautiful woman on a very fancy and sparkling float. Next, we were treated to the top three runners up to the crown. Then was the little girl version, the Princesa I guess, before what was very different: Drag queens. There’s a major drag queen show, in which one is crowned the belle of the ball. We got to see this year’s queen as well as the runners up, too.

      Then it was float after float. Unlike in New

      The Pope had his own security detail, but I noticed they were drinking on the job.

      Orleans where they throw out everything from packets of coffee to moon pies to cups to Cracker Jacks, no one three anything except confetti. Only then, it was just one float with bags of the stuff. Instead, the floats were clearly ticketed parties with revelers drinking excessively — and obviously. I watched more than one parade participant kinda sway and do that telltale, slow-motion half-blink. But everyone seemed to be having a blast.

      Since there wasn’t much built-in reason to interact with the people on the floats, I found myself enjoying the rest of the community who joined in to walk behind and dance to the pulsing pop music blasting from the speakers of the moving parties. I knew some of these songs — it’s the same remixed crap I have been dancing to at the gym almost daily for the last two months. However, everyone else seemed to not only know the songs but know every word and were willing to sing along unabashedly.

      We were all laughing and dancing in the streets, which reminded me of how joyous and fun life can be. I have a group of friends who organize “playshops” instead of workshops, and that inspires me. As I continue to be my best self and focus my energy on completing meaningful projects, I have to remember how lucky I am to have the opportunity to do the good work.

      You may have heard that children laugh 300 times a day while adults only laugh 17.  Well, I definitely laughed more than that yesterday

      Isn't she the most beautiful Queen of Hearts you've ever seen? Spoiler: That's a dude, an old dude.

      — and I didn’t need a drink of alcohol to do it, either, by the way.

      Everything started around 4:30 p.m., and the parade was only a few blocks away. I enjoyed about three hours before I decided to return to the comforts of my quiet apartment. After all, what’s more fun than rest?

      Suzanne’s 5 BEST Health Products from Around the World

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      You won’t BELIEVE what number four is! Well, maybe you will. It’s not that crazy. I’ve been dragging my feet about this blog idea because it’s so click-bait-y.

      HEY YOU! Have you already scrolled down to the list? Do you know any of them already? Companies that produce these click-bait numbered lists are just trying capture your attention for a few minutes. They feed on your own egos in the name of the algorithm.

      I’m a sucker for it! I always click on those “10 Best Places for Young Professionals to Live in 2024” lists. Part of me hopes that I’ve lived in all of them. I barely give a think to how the random editors compiled the list. I just start clicking.

      I’m part of the attention economy just like the rest of us. It’s hard to encourage people to invest in reading. That’s why there are so many marketing best practices like bulleted lists, all-caps, and other easy-to-scan, broken-up sections of “content.” Attention spans have dropped 47 seconds since measured in the early 2000s, when they were 2.5 minutes.

      In the Galapagos: Me and Chucky D, which surprisingly is what Charles Darwin said he liked to be called. How well are we adapting to the changes of the natural world around us?

      I usually skip the story in food blogs when I’m looking for a recipe. I scrolled past writing just last night when I needed the red lentil to water ratio for cooking a quick dal (it’s two cups water to one cup red lentils). I’ve worked as a professional writer for almost 30 years! You’d think I’d give it a quick read.

      So, I get the joy of QUICK TIPS. I’ve even curated a list of searchable travel tips on The Lovelight Project’s travel and explore page.

      But counting the clicks isn’t what this blog is about. I’m not trying desperately to keep your attention. Affiliate marketing is not how I make money. It’s okay. This isn’t a money-based experience we’re having. Maybe now’s a good time to take a breath.

      Still with me? Long-form writing has become a disruptor concept to the attention economy.

      Art is in the written word.

      ART!

      Top Reasons Art is So Cool

      !!! Not too many exclamation marks. AI will find out. You can’t write AI without it tracking you. It’s tracking you. *She shifts the gaze back and forth*

      Not everyone has time for art. You may not have that kind of time. You have to scroll past the blah-blah-blah. Go straight to what you can buy. Maybe that will relax the nervous system. That’s another secret about the attention economy: the constant consumerism will keep you in a state of anxiety. It’s an addiction, and addictions make it hard to focus on anything else.

      Check out Edgar Degas within the collection of the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

      Especially something that doesn’t really have anything to sell you. French impressionist Edgar Degas famously said, “Art is not what you see, but what you make others see.”

      So, click-bait is the opposite of what I normally go for. If you’ve ever read any of my writing, you know that I are more interested in ideas that get me, at least, thinking and feeling. If you are willing to feel — not everyone is, that’s the thing about the world today and always — you have to give a little time. Give the idea time to marinate within you. Consider the energy.

      When you invest time like this, it may be a risk. What if you don’t learn anything? What if you already know the five products that I love and that’s that? Everything requires a cost-benefit analysis these days, especially with what kind of content you are intentionally consuming these days.

      Busyness is a modern social psychological condition. And yet, you have time to scroll away on social media. Or whatever your drug of choice is. Maybe you’re into, I dunno, dance classes at the gym. If you’re anything like me, you’ve got all kinds of things to do. How are you doing on that new year’s resolution with those new habits, anyway?

      Rest, by the way, is an excellent habit to adopt. It’s free. I plan to make daily rest part of my next 60-DAY CHALLENGE TO CHANGE initiative. I hold an accountability group every 60 days. The name sounds kind of click-bait-y, so I wrote it in all-caps. I hope I don’t stress myself out by holding myself accountable for calming my nervous system and balancing my hormones.

      Rest, by the way, isn’t lying back and scrolling social media. Rest relieves you from the pressures of the world. Art is a great way to escape the norm. When you read a story or check out any kind of art, you’re allowing yourself an opportunity to feel the ideas and energy. I hope you know the difference.

      Don’t fool yourself by thinking that a small breadcrumb of knowledge is a worthy exchange for your precious time. Let yourself experience life fully!

      That’s exactly what I was doing yesterday I was when I found myself with a small cut. I pulled out the powder I bought in Argentina that works really well healing the skin. I tried to remember what it was called. I made a mental note to research it (Mental notes are written in disappearing ink!). Since weekly blogs have been part of my current 60-DAY CHALLENGE TO CHANGE, I thought maybe readers would be interested in a list of these products I love.

      And that’s why I’m giving you:

      SUZANNE’S AMAZING MUST-HAVE CAN’T-BEAT OH MY HELL YEAH I CAN’T BELIEVE SHE SAID THAT OH NO YOU DIDN’T OH YES I DID LIST

      This list is in no particular order and consists of products that work great, are relatively inexpensive, common in the country and less-so elsewhere.

      Top 5 International Products I’d Buy Again

      1. Polvo Cicatrizante Proser

      When I rode a horse over the countryside of Argentina, I held on the strap so tightly that I ripped the palm of my hand up. I went to the pharmacy and showed them the wound, and they sold me this product. At 250 grams for under $14, it will last you a lifetime. I see from the description that it’s “specifically formulated for horses,” which is hilarious because I use this on my face sometimes.

      2. Tiger Balm

      You’ve likely already seen Tiger Balm, but (like dragonfruit) there are two types: red and white. White Tiger Balm is more common in the West because it is milder. It can serve as a Vicks VapoRub when dabbed in the nose or even lips. The red version is stronger and is a great for aches and pains. Both are great to stop itching from bug bites. It’s also a bug repellent, and I once saw it for sale as a spray at the Ego Pharmacy. An often-overlooked benefit is relief from flatulence, which I can’t even.

      3. Thai Crystal Deodorant

      There’s plenty of debate on this topic, and I welcome all your naysaying in the comments. But don’t knock this Thai Crystal Deodorant without trying it. I bought a stick for a couple of dollars in Thailand and used it daily to stop myself from being stinky. Then, when I visited my parents during the start of coronavirus (they were really stressed out), I cleaned out my childhood bathroom closet and found a stick I purchased when I was in 8thgrade from the local natural food store. Score! Talk about doing my future self a favor!

      4. Boroleum ointment

      Speaking of my hometown, I need to give a shoutout to the New England version of Tiger Balm, kinda, called Boroleum. While Tiger Balm is a more versatile ointment, this stuff always pulled me through the dry, cold, crappy fall into winter into spring weather of Lancaster, Pennsylvania. I wish I had a tube now as I’m living in Las Palmas in the Canary Islands of Spain. We’re experiencing the calima, which is dust that comes off the African Sahara desert. My nasal passages are a little congested.

      5. Jamu

      You can make this ginger and turmeric drink I discovered in Bali, Indonesia at home. But warning: It’s a little bit of a process to make, however. I found it online here. It is the answer to gastrointestinal distress, as it is a traditional medicine from the home of the cutely name but super-gross phenomenon of Bali Belly. But you have to give thanks for everything, including Bali Belly.

      Honorable Mentions: Japanese bathroom anything, palo santo, and white sage.

      Were you worried that I wouldn’t actually give you a real list after you clicked? Well, I did. And now’s where I continue to engage you by asking for what I missed in the comments. But I’m serious. What would you add to this list? Let’s share and connect, for art’s sake.

      A Fond Farewell to the Green Tupperware 

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      Divesting to the point where everything you basically need for yourself can fit inside a 65L backpack and a carry-on requires forethought — a lot of forethought. What goes in your kit all has to be perfect, or as close to perfect as you can get.

      My divestment journey led me from a three-bedroom home with a shed and patio that I had rented for eight years down to a 32-foot sailboat, and then down to the pack. Then, I went from the pack to a 23-foot RV for three years. And then back down to a pack again.

      Here I am before 6 a.m. waiting for a bus leaving Germany in 2023. On my back is everything I own ... including, sniff, a certain green Tupperware container in there somewhere.

      You can probably imagine there are certain things that I can’t imagine living without. For example, as a menstruating female, I need my Diva cup and reusable pantyliners. With these small items in my pack, I never have to worry about how the women in Bali or Ecuador or Istanbul handle their times of the month. Wherever I am, I’m sorted.

      Really, when you get a pack dialed in, everything in it is required and exactly what you want. That is, the goal is to own everything you need and nothing you don’t — and be able to carry it all.

      I find the hardest part of living out of a backpack is maintaining a great capsule wardrobe of clothing while also wearing said clothing. It is easier when always living in relatively warm climates. But … climate change is real.I want to be comfortable and look nice all the time. I’m just a nomadic writer; I’m not trying to be an influencer. Unless I can influence you to care for the environment!

      The good thing about only owning the most practical things is that it’s easier to be an environmentalist. I buy few items and try to repair as much as I can. I was smart to buy the cork glue and sealer from the official Birkenstock shop in London earlier this year, but the repair only lasted so long. My sneakers (also called trainers and tennis shoes) are wearing out with all these hot dance moves, too.

      Now that I’m renting an apartment for some time, I’ve allowed myself to purchase some new clothes from the secondhand shop located literally downstairs from my apartment building. I pass it every day, so I often pop in to see what they’ve got. I was on the lookout for a new pair of pants — and I scored big this week! Modern cut with a frayed edge and a perfect fit, they cost 2 euros, or $2.16.

      Most things you can replace, which is important to remember.

      Unfortunately, my green Tupperware that I carried in my pack, the sailboat, the RV, and even in that rental house is almost impossible to replace. First, sit back kids: I’m going to tell you a story that takes place in 2009, which is hard to believe is 15 years ago. I was working at the Boys & Girls Clubs as a communication director.

      This is a simple ode to a wonder-inducing Tupperware product, the "Mini Max."

      That afternoon, my boss came into my little cubicle located in a hallway that led from the administration offices to the club itself, where I often went to play four square to take a break from writing grants. It was before my boss hired this dude from Newark, New Jersey who wore gold chains around his furry neck and made me cry. It was before all that, when my boss said, “Gosh, Suzanne, I can’t think of anything to encourage you to work on” at my review.

      It was a fun job for a while.

      “So, Suzanne. I’m hoping you can help. I have to go to a Tupperware party, where the ladies are donating a percentage to the Boys & Girls Clubs,” she said. “Will you come with me to represent the club?”

      I went, and at one point I found myself sitting at the back of the room. I was totally zoning out, as of course I had no interest in plastic food storage containers sold in a multi-level marketing scheme. I was so in another world that my mouth was agape.

      “I KNOW! It really IS amazing!” the woman at the front of the room said, holding a piece of Tupperware. She was talking to me.

      She continued to engage me about this Tupperware, which came in a set of three for $30. These pieces were all green with circular, watertight lids that snapped on. Each piece could be folded three times, making totally different sizes as well as provide for flat storage.

      Everyone, including my boss, turned to look at me. I was self-aware enough to realize that I looked like I was so impressed by Tupperware that my mouth was literally hanging open with wonder and awe. Embarrassed, I bought a set.

      But here’s the thing: That Tupperware was actually awesome. I used it all the time. When I lived in Chiang Mai, Thailand, I would bring the green Tupperware to the pad Thai restaurant just down the road from my apartment for them to fill up with takeaway homemade delicacies for the equivalent of $1. I saved so much plastic with that plastic reusable thing.

      Because it folded flat, I could shove it in my carry-on bag. If I wanted to buy something to eat on the plane, no problem. It helped me to be waste-free, or as close to it as I could get.

      So, it was a sad day, not long after the end of the holiday season, when I reached for it under the counter in my apartment to discover that the lid had mysteriously disappeared. My roommate and I searched every cabinet in the kitchen. We had had a few parties with plenty of leftovers.

      I splurged for the fried egg on top of that homemade pad Thai for $2. Note the container, shown here in 2018 back when it still had a lid.

      “You’re just going to have to accept that it’s gone,” my roommate said. “I can only presume it somehow ended up in the trash.”

      Again, I was too embarrassed to display my deep sense of loss and grief. But it’s there. I may be able to buy a new one, but shipping to this island isn’t as easy as you may think.

      That’s why I need to dedicate this blog to the green Tupperware container that traveled from Florida and through the Caribbean, then around South America, Oceania, Asia, back throughout North America, and then over to Europe. You never got to see Africa, little buddy, and it’s so close.

      Where is the lid, you may still be wondering? Because, if you’re like me, you don’t believe that someone would throw away a clearly matching green lid. I suspect that it ran away, Tom Robbins-style, with the less-special but still handy plastic camping fork that also somehow had been lost in my shuffle.

      They probably are off together on an adventure to find the black puffer jacket that stuffed in its own pouch. That jacket was lost on a Deutsche Bahn train somewhere in Germany. That’s a long way away, guys. I wish them luck … and plenty of pad Thai again someday.

      My New Career: Music Video Backup Dancer 

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      I have an announcement, and many of you have already seen it coming. I am adding a new skill to my resume. I will now open my schedule to offers for my appearance dancing in the background of professional or amateur music videos.

      My skills, honed over the last three weeks in group dance classes at GoFit gym in Las Palmas, Gran Canaria, are specific to a lot of Seal Paul, salsa, and some B-girl sassy flare. You can talk to my agent after this blog.

      OMG it me! Please imagine I look just like this woman during GoFit's exercise dance classes, because I sure do (imagine such).

      I know my competition for a spot is strong. Some of the men and ladies in these classes not only learn the entire sequence, but they have an impressive of physical fitness and joie de vivre. That’s what I’m going for. We all work up a sweat while pretending we’re in the background of a music video. Or is this just me?

      I go three or four times a week, and these group dance classes are giving me life. I pair the dance class with stretching or lifting weights, and always a 15-minute sauna afterward. That’s called “habit stacking,” and it’s a proven hack to get you in a routine. I’ve taken some boxing classes, which are pretty kick-ass. I’m not sure I’m in touch with my warrior spirit.

      But if you know me, you know I’m a dancer. I love moving my body to live music; I think of it like a physical expression of what I hear. Dancing helps me pay better attention to the music! You know what Bob Marley sings about music: When it hits, you feel no pain.

      Not that I’m dancing to Bob Marley, unfortunately. There is a Sean Paul medley that brings me back to my years of living in the Caribbean. But the rest is a bunch of reggaeton, salsa, bachata, and some surprisingly hardcore B-girl jamz that remind me of my preteen years dancing in front of my mirror.

      Now, I’m at a genetic disadvantage, as a gringa, dancing to the salsa and bachata, and a lot of the reggaeton, too, if I’m honest now about my new resume skill. Many of the old ladies would be picked before me for the next salsa music video background dancers.

      But, when requested to by the unnecessarily loud music, I can “drop it low, pop it up, abajo ….” I’m also pretty good at the 90s-era “Rock Your Body” Backstreet Boys move, which is a little like the Thriller choreography I once learned during a stay in New Orleans.

      I also feel at the front of the pack as an American at the end of one song with gym choreography of finger “guns in the air” partnered with the lyrics “I bring the pain like rat-tat-tat-tat!” I feel my heritage of rich gun culture makes me especially equipped for this move, or at least the attitude necessary to properly execute it.

      If I were to be really honest here, I’d say on my best day, I’d be picked tenth in my class to back up a star in a music video. But then, that also presumes a talent scout for Beyoncé or Justin Timberlake would saunter into GoFit sala dos to look for amazing dancers. Did I mention I’m definitely in the lower quadrant of age? Most of my classmates are over 60 years old.

      OMG it me! No, no ... I'm not so foolish to think I'm Taylor Swift! I'm gonna be one of the backup dancers -- as soon as the talent agent discovers me in gym class.

      Still, there we all are, shaking it. Not everyone has imaginary professional aspirations like I do, but then — not everyone thinks big. You have to reach for the stars. Well, I’m doing it. Literally, too, with the choreography: We reach and step, reach and step, then the other way, reach and step, reach and step.

      The gym instructors, of course, make it worth the loud, objectively bad music. I go so regularly that it’s not only a music video playing in my head. There’s an entire Netflix series soap opera called GoFit in there, too.

      There are characters like Ana Sara, the spunky dance instructor who makes encouraging, extra-wide eyes when it’s time to change the step. She twirls her finger in the air when it’s time to spin our bodies and holds up a two when we “double” the right step. Then there’s Carlos, the young, mustachioed stud who forgets to lead us in both sides in yoga class but all the ladies forgive him. I don't know the name of Señorita Drawn-On Eyebrows who works the front desk, but I've never seen her smile and I think about what could be upsetting her.

      I may be taking the daily classes, but I’m certainly not chatting any of these characters up. Everyone speed-mumbles in a language I comprehend so slowly that it’s frustrating. I’m not making much progress in Spanish, but I’m keeping at the lessons and listening. It hurts my head a little.

      At least, you’d presume, I’m super-fit! I mean: Wow! She’s doing awesome with going to the gym every day! She’s lifting weights about three times a week, taking cardio classes, and even hitting the sauna with all the old hairy guys every single day! She hasn’t visited a bakery in a few months, and she’s only had a few “ice cream incidents” over the past month. Hydration, meditation, even intermittent fasting!

      I was feeling good when I stepped on the InBody scale this week to get some validating metrics for all my sweaty effort in dance class. Ana Sara, who helped me analyze the results at the help desk at the gym, used her big eyes to look at me sympathetically: It seems, in the last month of squeezing sweat out of my pores and focusing on my health, that I’ve lost an entire one pound and somehow, according to the scale, gained 0.1% of body fat. I lost 0.1% of muscle.

      No wonder the background dancer talent scout for the hottest music videos hasn’t been calling. Ugh! I’m regressing!

      I also feel like I’m moving backward with recording the audiobook of One-Way Ticket, as I needed to first get familiar with Final Cut Pro. I'm learning how to edit both audio and video, and it’s more than I’m currently required to know. But it’s good to get an education before starting on a big task.

      I’m not really regressing, of course, regardless of what a stupid hunk of computerized plastic tells me. I may not be moving forward toward my goals as fast as I’d like, but such is the way of self-improvement. The rate of improvement isn’t linear. The graph starts a slow accent and may even seem to dip down for a moment before it shoot upward toward mastery. I feel that slump, though.

      Here's a graphical depiction of why it's so hard to stick to the work necessary to reach a goal. There's a point where you are moving backward before surging ahead. Source: https://www.researchgate.net/figure/The-graph-regarding-the-changes-that-self-esteem-suffers_fig1_254449447

      Sometimes, I see that slump in the dance class mirror. Like today, I can’t lie: I did not have any coffee before I left. I was not completely impressed with myself as I was dancing Alingo. To be really honest, I was tired. And so, when I got home, I rested. Put that on the resume.

      Back To School, Fool!

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      Here’s the thing about new beginnings: There is always a lot to learn.

      There’s a reason that the word school rhymes with fool. The Fool is the first card in the tarot deck. It’s all about the new start to the journey. It makes sense for me lately, as I’ve been in a major learning era of my life.

      The Fool, the first card in the Major Arcana of the Tarot

      My daily habits feel as familiar and annoyingly structured as a school curriculum: First period is studying Spanish by listening to Pimsleur classes and living in the Canary Islands. Sometimes I take a field trip to the fruit market and try to have a little conversation or at least pay attention to the television news they play there. Then it’s second period, studying Final Cut Pro with Ripple Training so I can record and edit the audiobook of One-Way Ticket. Next, I go to gym class at GoFit. I may have music or meditation club after that, or perhaps my book club.

      And just like when I was in high school, I also have to, oh yeah, work for money!

      I haven’t yet mentioned my hardest class: Self-Mastery.

      The most recent lesson in this never-ending class is on boundaries. How are you with boundaries? OK, that’s a trick question: Really, I’m just asking if you’ve ever been to therapy, because otherwise you’d likely have no idea what I’m talking about.

      I am challenged by boundaries. This week, a client — who I let repeatedly dump her personal problems on me during the work process of the eBook she hired me for — had an emotional meltdown and verbally abused me. She had just received the final draft of the work. She’s now threatening not to pay me for the work I completed that she previously approved. Great.

      The last guy I dated? Yeah, I let him treat me pretty poorly too. Same goes for the previous guy. And the guy before that.

      I’m really good at pulling up the anchor and fleeing once I realize I’m being abused — but I seem to need a big, neon flashing sign before I figure it out.

      What happened to Mr. T? Was he on your Trapper Keeper in elementary school? I need him to deal with some jerks in my life.

      I approach most people with an open heart and a positive attitude, ready for a win-win relationship that helps us both. It works well with my large, supportive group of friends. But bad actors have a field day with my tender heart.

      I know the answer isn’t to build a wall around that flowering field of my heart, either. I’ve certainly beaten myself against some brick walls, and it hurts! I am stuck between being wide open and being locked in a box.

      How do you build healthy boundaries? I’ve got some homework to do.

      But first: let me pass you a note that’s folded like origami. Did you see there was a man who dressed as a wall and Trump invited on stage at a political rally in Iowa? That’s one kind of boundary I don’t need, I know that much!

      Personal boundaries, of course, are different from political boundaries, which are crossed all the time. That’s what many wars are all about. Russia denied Ukraine’s boundary, for example.

      Cue "Fantasy is Reality" by Parliament Funkadelic.

      I don’t know how to defend boundaries very well, either political or personal. It doesn’t seem like most countries can, either. Can you?

      Boundaries seem usually one of two ways: It’s all or nothing. Rigid or porous, as they say in therapy. Either you walk right over the line, or you can’t even find the line. File under: Can’t win for losing.

      I do have many friends with whom I practice boundaries. One of my best friends calls me when she can — I know she’s busy with a big family, and I am secure in our friendship. I don’t overstep with her. Another dear friend calls me almost every day, and sometimes I have to tell him directly to not vent so angrily with me. I get upset with too much venting. It’s actually not healthy!

      There are a few things — the operative word being few — I’ve come to understand about boundaries.

      You Have to Communicate

      Communication is a two-way street, which is a radical concept in today’s one-way splatter-gun content creation. Not everyone can handle a direct and effective communication style that requires the patience that listening requires. Some people view honest communication as confrontation, so I try to be as soft and compassionate as I can while talking to someone.

      But if you’re not clear about what you want and what you don’t want, you simply can’t give the other party a clear definition of what you find acceptable and not. You can’t make presumptions that everyone is on the same level as you. Sometimes, the only way to find out is to ask and really listen to the answer.

      I’m slowly discovering that many people have no idea about this. Like the client, I made a presumption that she would share my ethics because I knew her casually and had mutual friends. But I was wrong. I actually had to tell this person that it’s not okay to take a final product of work and not pay me.

      Look for Red Flags

      An ounce of prevention is worth a pound in cure, as I’ve confirmed as I work on staying clear of people who are less likely to respect my boundaries.

      Here’s content from a Facebook post I made last spring about the early warning signs of abusive men, which I learned from reading the highly recommended “Why Does He Do That?” by Lundy Bandcroft. They include:

      😬 Speaking very negatively about former partners

      🔪Saying she “falsely” accused him of abuse or that, in fact, she abused him (may show photos as “proof”)

      💕 Says you’re different (phrases like “I didn’t think people like you existed!”)

      😒 OR glorifies former partner (you’ll never stand up to her)

      🤦🏻‍♀️ Takes no responsibility for end of his last relationship

      🙅🏻‍♀️ Is disrespectful to you (interrupts you, talks over you, yells at you “because you’re not listening” or to prove he wasn’t yelling previously)

      🏮 OR puts you on a pedestal (very uncomfortable)

      💐 Creates a sense of indebtedness early on (does favors you do not ask for, often publicly to create an image of being such a good guy)

      🐲 Is controlling (makes comments about your body or clothes or friends, or dictates how you should text a friend, etc)

      🦮 Is possessive (calls you “his,” needs you around all the time)

      🧸 Nothing is his fault

      🙎🏻‍♂️ Makes excuses, plays the victim — cannot apologize

      🕺🏻Self-centered, always brings conversation back to him

      🍻 Heavy drug and alcohol use, pressures you to do more than you want, too

      🍆 Pressures you for sex

      👩‍❤️‍👨 Gets serious too quickly (posts photos on social media after first or second date)

      ‼️ Shows intimidation when angry: too close, finger in face, blocks way, shouts you down, drives recklessly, throws things

      🎭 Double standards for himself and you

      🤹🏼‍♀️ Has a negative attitude toward women (such as saying women always win in courts, women cannot care for themselves)

      🥊 Treats you differently when around others

      🧚‍♂️ Is attracted to (perceived) vulnerability

      Clients “love-bomb,” too. Before that client told me to “go f**k myself,” she said that she wished I were nearby so that she could hug me because she was so pleased with my work.

      Listen to Your Instinct

      Yes, I had that nagging little voice in my head telling me that the client was no good and the guys were no good. In fact, all my past bad relationships — the ones that made me doubt my abilities to stand up for myself and uphold my boundaries — all started with me ignoring myself.

      I think this is the biggest lesson of all. If you don’t quiet your mind enough to hear what your instincts tell you, you’ll be in for a rude awakening! I practice meditation every day, but I’ve still got a beginner’s mind! And so it’s back to school I go ….