October 2024

All it takes is a look around the restaurant to see that I’m not the only one with a phone addiction. At every table — yes, every table — I see a phone. If someone isn’t actively scrolling (and ignoring their loved one), it’s on the table, quivering in anticipation. 

The phone can never be too far from reach. Have you ever accidently left yours at home? You know that uneasy feeling. It’s the same feeling an alcoholic has when there’s no booze around. It’s addiction.

The World Economic Forum reported last year that there were more mobile phones in the world than human beings. In 2022, the average time spent staring at a smartphone — not including talking, mind you, which is what a phone was originally designed to do — was 4.5 hours every day, according to Statista.

I won’t lie: I used to spend many more hours on my device. I’d scroll various social media accounts, read the news, check the weather, listen to a podcast, watch a video, consult a map, check my email, listen to an audiobook I got from the library, listen to streaming music, take pictures, and even study online courses. 

Yeah, smartphones are great … until they’re not. The other day I realized I was trying to cook but my left hand was strangely occupied. I had no reason to be holding my phone, but I was, mindlessly. Something had to be done.

If you’re reading this, you also know that you’ve got to do something. But knowing what to do isn’t so easy when so much of our modern daily existence is wrapped up in apps, sites, and scrolls. 

The first thing to be done is to accept that we’ve got a problem, and it’s a dopamine problem. The colorful screens and endless buzzy notifications have short-circuited our brains. We can’t help but want more more more. Just like an addict, we need more than willpower.

It’s a work in progress, but here are my 10 tips to help you break the spell your smartphone has on you. Monitor your daily screen time once a week to see if you can create a downward trajectory. Good luck!

1. Make it boring.

All those fun, saturated colors on the screen sure are fun to look at! But what if real life was more colorful and vibrant? You can immediately make your phone less enjoyable by changing your color filters to grayscale. 

Android users just have to search “grayscale” for instructions. For iPhone users: Go to Settings —> General —> Accessibility —> Display Accommodations —> Color Filters —> Toggle ON and select grayscale.

2. Set limits for your time sucks.

Ever wish you had a benevolent caretaker to look over your shoulder and proclaim, “OK, that’s enough!” More than once, I’ve realized that I scrolled way too much time away. That’s time I’ll never get back, and I wasn’t any better off. 

Well, you can be your own caretaker. In the iPhone, go to Settings —> Screen Time —> App Limits and then add limits for all your triggering apps, like social media. 

I find 15 minutes is a nice amount of time if I want to scroll. There is an override option, but in grayscale you will probably be bored by then.

3. Plan offline activities in your day.

People who have nothing else to do will stare at their phones because, well, what else are they going to do? But you can actively intend to live a life filled with meaning. Spend time doing things that will make you into a better version of yourself in the future.

Create a list of healthy offline habits you’d like to fill your day with instead. Mine include studying a new language, meditating, and eating whole + healthy foods (I just roasted nuts that soaked overnight!). 

Check out my slowly-but-surely growing YouTube channel (https://youtube.com/@thelovelightproject8185) to learn more.

4. Get it away from you!

A woman in one of my accountability groups had trouble falling asleep. Why? Because she couldn’t resist the temptation to check out all the latest on her smart device before bed. And we all know how scrolling works — it sucks you in, and suddenly it’s an hour later than you thought. 

There’s a simple solution: Charge your phone away from your bed. Put it on airplane mode 30 minutes before you sleep. Extra credit if you can get up and caffeinate before turning it back on.

5. Block the blue light.

Screens emit blue light frequency, which explains why our eyes get so tired when staring at screens for so long. This frequency also messes with our circadian rhythm, in that our body will think that it’s seeing rays from the sun when it’s just that darn smartphone screen.

To combat this, get some blue light-blocking glasses if your work forces some screentime. Yellow or light orange lenses work to reduce eye strain and exhaustion. When you start to feel better, you’ll learn what it feels like to feel bad.

6. Connect with people in real life. 

Another reason why you might feel exhausted when you finally pull yourself away from your smartphone is because you didn’t really connect with anyone. Yes, you see that your friends are upset over the latest political crisis or someone had a baby or got married or went on a trip or ate something delicious. All of that is so wonderful. 

Why not pick up the phone and call them about it to learn more? Talking in real time (even better, video calling) is true connection. When you make time for a real friend or family member you love, it makes you feel great.

I talk on the phone almost daily. Texting doesn’t really give me the sense of connection that charges me, but damn I love listening and sharing in real time to friends. It’s why I have a phone in the first place.

7. Keep your phone away during the day. 

I notice a big difference when I keep my phone across the room than when it’s next to me at my desk. I’m simply less distracted — and I’m not the only one. This is known as the phone proximity effect. There’s a little part of your brain power that goes toward staying alert to this device that bings and buzzes by surprise.

At first, you may experience that sneaky FOMO, of the fear of missing out. If you’re really awaiting a call from a specific person, just turn on the sound. You’ll hear it in the other room.

8. Turn off all notifications.

This summer, I lived in a town filled with digital nomads excited to share all kinds of ideas and events. I signed up for the WhatsApp group only to get scores of notifications throughout the day. When I complained to a friend, she laughed. She had turned off all her notifications a long time ago, and she encouraged me to do the same.

Now, I take it a step further. I turn off all sound and all notifications. This way, I can mindfully take a break from whatever I’m focused on and check in — rather than allowing the phone to interrupt me. 

You do not have to be “on call” at all times, and there’s really no need to expect that of others, too.

9. Be intentional with your phone behavior.

Make a habit of announcing the action you are doing when picking up the phone. “I want to see the water-to-lentils cooking ratio” or “I want to know the metaphysical qualities of the upcoming astrological events.” This will stop you from mindlessly opening social media apps and other temptations that steal your time.

Then, when you have completed your task, put the phone down. Take control.

10. Get support by enlisting friends to break the spell, too.

Demand that all your loved ones put their phones away when you get together. Let them know that you only check your phone a few times during your day, so they don’t worry if you don’t reply immediately. Use this as a way to stay connected in a deeper, more meaningful way.

Then, share this — along with other methods you use to be a productive, relaxed, connected human in this dopamine-disrupted modern world.